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Former Patriots first-round pick Tebucky Jones faces breach of peace, third-degree assault and fourth-degree sexual assault charges after getting all handsy with a woman in a lobby of a casino in Connecticut. Because if you want to get away with something illicit in a casino, you might as well do it where the most eyes are trained. Next time, I'd recommend shaking a pregnant woman on top of the roulette table. 

State police said around 1 a.m. Friday, Jones, 33, had "inappropriate contact" with the unnamed woman. Her boyfriend, Nikolaos Papathanasiou, 24, of Quaker Hill, then got into an argument with Jones, which escalated into a physical fight.

According to a police report, Jones knocked over the woman and punched her boyfriend in the face, causing multiple injuries. A third man, Mark A. Chichester, 36, of New London, stepped in and punched Jones, before police arrived.

Wow. Inappropriate contact that results in knocking the woman over? That's an awful strong titty squeeze. He must've been a monster in touch football. A shame that tackle version didn't work out for him. I'm sure there's a prison league. For inappropriate touching, at least. Football if you're lucky.