Iowa's so cute. It's got all the corn and soybeans of Illinois, minus that big metropolitan center with all the fast cars and minorities. So when the state fair rolls around, you know it's time to register the domain name StuffFatWhitePeopleLike.com. Running from August 7th through yesterday, the fair featured plenty of funnel cakes, bad hair, and a statue homegrown Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson — sculpted from butter. I didn't ask, but I'm pretty sure sex with the statue is illegal.
Baltimore is already hard at work on a likeness of Michael Phelps, made entirely with crack rocks and broken dreams.
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Exactly where do I put my dick?
Needs more spunk.
Where's the fucking toast?
There's not enough Old Bay in the world to make a likeness of Phelps' ears.
I'm pretty sure sex with the statue is illegal.
What about licking it?
Someone stole 5 lbs. of butter off her ass.
That's the worst sculpture ever. It has a fucking afro!
Damn look at that phat ass shiiiit
Yeah, but what KIND of crack rocks?
Is that after they turned the refrigeration off? OH GOD SHE'S MELTING!
(saw it in person, by the way)
For some reason or another people here in Iowa love those stupid butter statues at the state fair.
On behalf of the portion of Iowa citizens that detest and abhor "butter statues (and inbreeding), I apologize for this article.
Now, back to Ken Shamrock!
FUCK BUTTERFUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!
I think they should make a statue out of gymnasts honoring butter. Now, back to my English muffin.