Today has been really slow and unsexy, so I figured this would be a good time to say, Hey, remember Bia and Branca?
Early this morning some other blogs were like "We did some research, and we think Bia and Branca might not be on the Brazilian Olympic team!!!" Umm, no shit. Sounds like the first post I wrote about them three days ago. You know, the one where the first sentence began,
Bia and Branca Feres are not on Brazil's Olympic team this summer…
It was a pretty tough two minutes of research I did. First I had to go to the Olympic athlete index. Then I had to select "Brazil." Then I saw only three synchronized swimmers on that page, and none of them were sexy twins. So that was that. But hey, great work, Woodward and Bernstein. Way to blow the case wide open. Maybe you can give us the inside scoop on where Brett Favre's gonna get traded, too.
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![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/Karate-putin.gif)
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Wait…Brett Favre got traded? Why hasn't ESPN covered this???
I almost forgot…
YES and YES
I decree that a hot chick not being on an Olympic team makes her newsworthy enough for a post here. In a related incident, Keely Hazell is not on an Olympic team.
If I was drunk there would be six of those chicks. Stupid job and its rules.
C'mon Matt, did you expect people to read the whole post? After all, there were pictures of hot twins.
Didn’t know EB Shrunk wrote for this site. Good to know!
Matt, you are a pioneer in every sense of the word.
Nothing Shrinking here…
Matt, I applaude your effort, er, or lackthereof. Whichever inspired this post.
No fucking idea what the other senses of "pioneer" are, but, like, whatever. Isn't the catcher for the Rays named Pioneer?
The fact that they're not on the Olympic team matters as much as the fact that I will never, ever touch them. My penis does not care.
Quick, put a mirror under her crotch and see if it's breathing
Btw, this was in response to Busted Coverage and Fan IQ writing about this topic. I didn't even realize TBL had posted about it until after the fact.
Can't say I'm really surprised, though.
They are how ever on the Getting Guys to Beat Off Olympics team.
Gold Fucking Medal Winners.
So there.
@Matt: Hence my comment. I just assumed that was who you were referring to. Apologies.
@WAS — none necessary. I welcome people hating on that blog; I just try to make it clear that I don't go after him.
BEST. DAY. EVER. First we get rollerbladers nearly killing themselves and then we got Bia and Branca…I smell a Nobel Peace Prize for the site.
I don't blame them for not going to the Olympics… there are no bags of frangers anywhere
I remember these two! And so does the massive white stain on my desktop. I didn't clean it up because I'm using it as a motivator.
Right now on the top of this page, it says, "If you killed your best friend, what would YOU say?" And then next to it it says, "View Matt's apology."
…
Ufford, dear. Is there something you'd like to tell us?
My best friend from tank school was actually killed in Iraq in '03. By Iraqis, though — not me.
um, dick joke?
Matt: Glad you outed the offenders in the comments. At first I was like, "'other blogs'? Who are these dipshits anyway?" Of course, then some crack Google blog-searching of my own sorted that out….
Anyway, thanks to the Olympic athlete index you linked to, I was able to confirm that neither Clyde Drexler, Chris Mullin, nor Larry Bird are on the USA hoops squad.
They'll always take the gold when it comes to furious masturbation.
Tankers are good to go in my book. Still don't beat Admin. 01 for a reason!
Them being on the Olympic team this year would, however, completely change the coverage for this blog.
@Allan
You fucks need to sign my checkout sheet.
@Shan
Have you turned in your rifle cards yet? What about your gear? Go over to Supply and talk to Sgt. Dickbag.
I just came.
I would definitely screw the one on the left, but the one on the right ain't half bad neither.
We're we supposed to care if they were in the Olympics?