PACMAN JONES IS BACK, AT HOOTERS
08.28.08
Pacman Jones, who I’m supposed to be calling “Adam” these days, was reinstated to play in the NFL by Der Kommissar Goodell today, and he awesomely received the news while at a local Hooters. From the DMN’s Cowboys Blog:
Jones was at Hooters eating a chicken sandwich when he got off the phone with league and team officials regarding his suspension…
Here’s what Jones had to say about getting reinstated: “It feels good man, you know, to get a second chance and I just have to take advantage of it… I need to keep doing what I’ve been doing to get reinstated staying with myself and my teammates and staying away form those knuckleheads and just stay focused.”
Eating at Hooters is proof that Pacman is on the road to recovery. Hooters is the methadone to the heroin that is strip clubs. The addict is left with a boring substitute that in no way matches the high of paying a silicone-breasted stranger who smells like bubble gum and cigarettes to rub her ass on your groin. The upside is that fewer people bring guns to Hooters. Well, actually, that might not apply in Texas.
[PFT]

“…staying with myself and my teammates and staying away form those knuckleheads…”
Pacman = Knucklehead, so considering the Associative Property of Dumb Statements, Pacman will be unable to stay away from knuckleheads and with himself, Q.E.D.
“The upside is that fewer people bring guns to Hooters. Well, actually, that might not apply in Texas.”
Sadly, Guns are usually a Requirement for most restaurants here.
@TEXAS: Mr. President, get back to work.
he’s making it rain… ranch dipping sauce
PacMan was enraged that there were no poles, but he was pleased when they gave him some chicken wings
/holy shit am I racist.
At least he’s less likely to get herpes eating a chicken sandwich at hooters than eating Cindi in the champagne room. Note: I said less likely.
@J-Nasty It’s been so long since he’s seen a stripper I don’t think that’s ranch dipping sauce.