Amid a typical flurry of Tourette-fueled ranting, Ozzie Guillen owned up to having opposing hitters beaned in retaliation for when one of his players gets hit. This, of course, is something all managers do, but aren't supposed to say that they do, because that would make Wally and the Beeve doubt the beneficent nature of their fellow man. Then go rob a liquor store.

“I’ve hit people before on purpose,” said Guillen, the Chicago White Sox manager, after a game Sunday in which umpires levied a suspect ejection in the fifth inning of a blowout when Chicago reliever D.J. Carrasco hit Kansas City’s Miguel Olivo with the bases loaded and incited a bench-emptying square dance.

“Yes I have,” Guillen continued. “Because that’s my job. Protect my players.”

“You think I’m going to bring somebody in to hit somebody and they’re going to throw a fastball 82 (mph) at the hands?” Guillen said. “I’m going to bring in my best guy and make sure he gets it done. That’s Major League Baseball. That’s baseball. That’s the baseball I grew up with. Not the (expletive) they play right now.”

Other than wanting to kick in the writer in the nuts for using the cornball euphemism of "square dance" rather than just saying it was a fight,  I'm always buoyed by the open admission of excessive violence in sports. That's right, you don't bring in Greg Maddux to hit someone, you call in a guy with 102 mph fastball and no control like Daniel Cabrera. That way the guy can get drilled in the head when you said you were just asking for a beaning to the hip.