GET YOUR MICHAEL PHELPS TEE-SHIRTS — The Hotness Factory is quickly selling out of tee-shirts that will be relevant for another week or so.  Get yours now!  It will go so well with your "I got bombed at the Olympics" from the Atlanta Games.

SLATE HATES AMERICA — In a move surprising no one, the people at Slate have taken an idiotic contrarian position, then dressed it up in big words.  Troy Patterson has a problem with Phelps wearing flip-flops and not using fancy words like he can: "Elsewhere on NBC, looking like crap opposite Brian Williams—we could see up Phelps' shorts as far as the upper thigh—the well-trained golden boy resisted committing to a presidential candidate: 'Ah, ah, dn, dah—I'm I'm not getting into either side. … Y'know, personally I do, but y'know, I just sort of keep that to myself.' His media-trained mind short-circuited for a second there, but the message was clear: Michael Phelps is selling himself as a superstar so apolitical as to make Tiger Woods look like Cassius Clay."  Get fucked, you pretentious piece of shit.

NOT EVERYONE WANTS TO DATE PHELPS — Even though Amanda Beard has always been pretty public about dating this guy, she was included in a story that tried to list all the celebrities wanting to date Phelps.  And because bloggers are retards who run with every non-story that has a famous name, Beard had to deny the allegations: "Eww, that's nasty… I have never, ever hooked up with Michael Phelps."  Well la dee dah, your naked higness.  Not all of us can snag a guy with such super-cool tattoos.

Also see: Deadspin, Sports By Brooks