Vikings safety Darren Sharper has been in the league for ages now, but he thinks he’s just as good as ever.
Could this be Sharper’s last year? No, he said. Sharper… said he believes he is playing better than ever.
“I’m like a fine wine, a Cabernet-Merlot-Shiraz blend,” he said. “It can do a lot of things. It’s gets better as you open it up and let it get out there and air out, filtrate, do all those things. I don’t even need a decanter, just let me go out there and run. Pour me in your mouth, suck it up and enjoy the run.
Well, that’s certainly a vivid metaphor. So how are teams going to solve him this season? Hmmm.
Oh no! Be careful, Darren! The Packers have a sommelier on the sidelines! And he’s gay!!!
(thanks to Weed Against Speed)
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You see, this profession is filled to the brim with unrealistic motherfuckers. Motherfuckers who thought their ass would age like wine. If you mean it turns to vinegar, it does. If you mean it gets better with age, it don’t.
We’re counting blended wines as “fine wines” now? Does Franzia count?
Women are like a fine wine, oh yeah I love me some granny porn, they know all the tricks.
We have so much in common. I often tell the ladies: “put me in your mouth, suck it up and enjoy the run.”
I’m usually grabbing the back of their head when saying it…but still.
“I like Meritage wine because it is like 5 dicks in my mouth”.
/Sharper in next month’s Wine Spectator
I prefer a nice MD 20/20 preferably Orange Jubilee
First of all, the best blends include Zinfandel; second of all, I have no idea whether that’s true, but I’ll bet it’s more accurate than what Sharper said…
Hide the white women!
More like a fine Night Train-MD 20-20 blend. And suck it up sounds about right.
Thunderbird.
“Pour me in your mouth, suck it up and enjoy the run.”
Somewhere the Sex Cannon is filing suit for copyright infringement.
i always thought he was more along the lines of a King Cobra-Mickeys-Colt 45 blend. i guess that shows how much i know