The Premier League's Portsmouth Football Club, as known as Pompey – not to be confused with the one wiped out by the volcano – had their new multimillion-pound training complex approved yesterday.

The interesting wrinkle is that the complex is to be built on a nature preserve, one populated by cootsy wootsy widdle badgers. Which the team now has to watch over.

I'll admit it's somewhat refreshing to see a team take a vested interest in conservation, animal husbandry and all that piddling crap I wouldn't touch with the undercarriage of my gas-guzzling Hummer. A shame there's not a preserve for hippies for me to bulldoze and build my totalitarian thug training grounds on. 

Meanwhile, stateside our networks have enviro-themed content while burning just as much energy as before. Man, I haven't been that disillusioned since I learned Ferngully wasn't real. BUT IT WAS THE LAST RAINFOREST! NOW THAT IT'S GONE WHAT'S LEFT?