07.02.08 TODAY IN SHATTERED TESTICLE NEWS…

my nuts hurt just from reading this post.

I like how he ran after the ball then collapsed. It's like you could actually see the messages sent from his nerve receptors in his balls reaching his brain.

"One shot to the chones and he's down!"

So nads fracture?  I would have imagined them just exploding. Nice to know.

Mark Littell is mailing a Nutty Buddy even as we speak.

It's always good to start the morning with a nut shot. I can't help but think that MLB should investigate whether or not this would improve viewership. It's the first baseball I've watched in twelve years without having to threaten someone with death to get it turned off.

"Hey, Molina. How's your hammer hangin!?!?"

Ken Singleton:  "He's expecting the ball to break, but it didn't."

I would have bought Michael Kaye dinner every night for a year if he'd replied to that with "Well who knows, Ken, maybe it did, we'll have to ask the trainers after the game."

After talking to Chris Snyder, Kaz Matsui and Felix Pie realize they got off easy with simple anal fissures and testicular torsions.

By the way, that's Jose Veras pitching, not Mariano Rivera.

I heard they're considering George C. Scott for the film version.

For fuck sake Molina don't just stand there, get the ball!

What was the injury Michael Barrett had a couple of years ago, I think he actually had a testicle ripped from his body…. oh, wait, found it:  intrascrotal hematoma. Here's Will Carroll's description of it:

I hope I don’t need to spell this out for you, but suffice it to say that this is among the most painful injuries possible. Michael Barrett had to have surgery to keep the pressure from building up and damaging the merchandise more. 

Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be baseball catchers… not if you want grandkids, anyway. 

If Jose needs an extra testicle, I think John Kruk has an extra one laying around his house.

"…and Molina looks like he's hurt." Well, NO SHIT! According to this guy, the Holocaust was pretty inconvenient for the Jews.

It is only fair to give credit where credit is due. That is Jose Veras hitting Molina in the molinas. 

Groin. Injury.

How tough is that ? Not even the NHL will report a bruised nut these days. Lance Pitlick was getting too much mail from ten year olds fucking around on Google.

By the way, that's Jose Veras pitching, not Marizona Rivera.

I believe "fractured testicle" is just DL-speak for "seen with Madonna."

worst. injury. ever.

I wanna see you pee.

Someone's getting a red pearl necklace at the strip club as soon as he learns to walk again.

In what universe does one play catcher and NOT wear a cup?!

Not to pick nits, but that was Jose Veras pitching, not Rivera