Newly crowned Wimbledon champ Rafael Nadal has a girlfriend that he does his best to hide from the media because he favors "privacy," as if that ever did anyone any good.  Well, it turns out her name is Francesca "Xisca" Perello.  Why Xisca?  Because it's sexier, obvs.  Details:

In a story full of butterflies and ponies farting rainbows, Nadal and “Xisca,” a 20-year-old college student, met through his sister, Isabel. Xisca is quite close to the entire Nadal family – particularly with Rafael’s grandmother… Apparently, being Rafael’s “secret girlfriend” is not a problem for Xisca, who prefers to remain out of the limelight.

Ugh.  It disgusts me the way they shun the spotlight and only seem interested in cultivating a healthy relationship.  What about MY needs?  I have a right to know everything about your relationship!  How am I supposed to speculate wildly about your private life if you keep it so… private?  I'm telling you, athletes are such selfish jerks.  Only care about themselves.

[Machochip]