The New England Patriots' 18-year-old cheerleader Rebecca Lewis proved to be something of a challenge to Internet stalkers in search of a photo when she was first added to the squad a few months back.
But now the team is just mocking us by selling glossies of her with personalized messages for the low, low price of $10.
I wonder how extreme they'll let Rebecca – or the 12-year-old Laotian girl Robert Kraft kidnapped for fake autographing duties – get with the personalized messages. "Dear
NickNicky, Hope all's well with the sex change operation. Make sure they let you keep what they cut off. It has great resale value. Yours in Christ, Rebecca."
So not only are they cutting into my teenage girl photo market but victim-written ransom note business. Such neat penmanship, and not even a hint of bloodstains or panic evident in the letter strokes. I can't compete with that!
The NFL just can't stand to have any competition.