To go with this morning's ensmartening written recap, here's video of Josh Hamilton's record-breaking first round at last night's Home Run Derby. My favorite part is all the times it cuts off Chris Berman in mid-sentence.
Seriously, though: 28 home runs with 38 swings. It's better than anyone in history, and it was done by a drug addict. It just goes to show you, kids: if you do lots and lots of heroin, you can do anything you put your mind to. Usually that "anything" is getting more heroin, but hey: a home run derby record is nice, too.
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If I hear the word Kruky one more time, I will choke the life out of the person who said it. Even if it means driving to Bristol to do it.
"It's better than anyone in history, and it was done by a drug addict."
Christ Ufford you idiot. What the fuck do you think steroids and speed are?! Jesus.
/I'm sorry for yelling.
Kruky looked like a damn Yeti last night. Buy a damn razon and lose the grey mullet.
He meant Illegal drugs….Oh!
swany, it's a good thing you typed Kruky and not said it. Also, would someone tell Joe Morgan that it's ok to go to the light already. "Look, he forcing it now." Yeah, forcing it 500 plus you old dipshit.
I cannot believe Berman didn't bust out a Neil Young "Needle and the Damage Done" reference. Actually I can, because that would have been awesome.
I honestly think my favorite part of the entire night was when the cops out in the blackout section were chasing fans and tried to choke one out.
Morgan is probably "forcing" ESPN to rethink putting old drunkards on live TV.
couldn't berman stick to football? actually, let me take that back. couldn't berman stick to a sport i don't watch? i hear curling broadcasters can really score some sweet deux deux deux.
My favorite part was when Reilly said "Last time I heard that sound of the bat hitting the ball was Bo Jackson" Too bad Buck Oneal used that old yarn in Ken Burn's Baseball.
Fuck you Rick Reilly.
Christ Ufford you idiot. What the fuck do you think steroids and speed are?! Jesus.
Drug ADDICT, tardboy. Barry Bonds didn't have a crippling physical addiction to steroids.
Chris Berman sure gets excited over balls flying very far.
Balls flying very far is almost as overrated as tall, black guys jumping high.
Is hockey back yet?
" Barry Bonds didn't have a crippling physical addiction to steroids. "
But he probably had a psychological addiction to them, no? Physical? And you can become addicted to amphetamines. Just sayin'.
I just find it ironic; Hey let's everyone cheer the guy that got off heroin, ah hell, why not cheer all the guys still pumpin' hormones up their assess as well!
I attribute my excellent bunting skills to my crippling addiction to nasal spray.
i know alot of good people who have died of heart attacks. why cant douchebags like chris berman have one?
@ rv – how old are you?
Barry Bonds didn't have a crippling physical addiction to steroids.
do you think he wanted to hit all those home runs? not likely. it was a cry for help.
Oh for fuck's sake, Swany. I wrote it as a set-up to a joke.
I may not do a great job of it, but I'm trying to make you people laugh. Someone wanna maybe get me back?
@ ognihs – what's it matter how old a guy is when he is obviously skilled in locating douchebagerism and bashing it appropriately? I've been wanting to see Berman die of a heart attack on the air for a few years now.
You're with me, black tar.