A couple kids in Greenwich, Connecticut had the idea to construct a mock-up version of Fenway Park for their wiffle ball games, even if they inaccurately put the Green Monster in dead center instead of left field and didn't capture the spirit of the place by neglecting to include a single pink hat. Neighbors, of course, were enraptured with the kids' sense of whimsy and ingenuity. Just kidding. They freaked the fuck out and called some lawyers.
Vincent Provenzano, 16 years old, experienced his Kevin Costner moment one Sunday afternoon in May after a thrilling day of Wiffle ball in a friend’s backyard. He came home, gazed at a field of weeds, brush and poison ivy in an empty lot off Riverside Lane, turned to his friend Justin Currytto, 17, and proclaimed: “If we build it, they will come.”
After three weeks of clearing brush and poison ivy, scrounging up plywood and green paint, digging holes and pouring concrete, Vincent, Justin and about a dozen friends did manage to build it — a tree-shaded Wiffle ball version of Fenway Park complete with a 12-foot-tall green monster in center field, American flag by the left-field foul pole and colorful signs for Taco Bell Frutista Freezes.
But, alas, they had no idea just who would come — youthful Wiffle ball players, yes, but also angry neighbors and their lawyer, the police, the town nuisance officer and tree warden and other officials in all shapes and sizes. It turns out that one kid’s field of dreams is an adult’s dangerous nuisance, liability nightmare, inappropriate usurpation of green space…
Blah, blah, blah and other joykilling NIMBY bullshit. "THIS PROPERTY WASN'T ZONED FOR A FAKE FENWAY PARK! GET THE PROPER PERMITS, YOU LITTLE WINSOME SHITS!"
According to the article, the land belongs to the town and is worth $1.25 million, which was being used for the vital purpose of, well, nothing. Oh, I'm sorry, it was a drainage area, so now that some kids are playing wiffle ball there, surely the next great flood is coming to Greenwich. Divert all recovery efforts from Iowa, toot-sweet!
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burn it to the fucking ground!
"didn't capture the spirit of the place by neglecting to include a single pink hat."
Ah my friend, this is true. But you tell me where you can see one black person in that picture?
I'm amazed that people in Greenwich were able to afford lawyers for frivolous shit.
I don’t know. Wearing a golf hat while playing Wiffleball is sufficiently douchbag to be in Fenway.
That being said, fuck the Adults of Greenwich.
These idiots also put Pesky's Pole in the 3rd base dugout.
Also, I don't see a single obstructed-view seat.
Lawyers, we get paid to end fun but we get paid to do it.
physical activity? structural ingenuity? CREATIVE THINKING!?!
Fuck no kids, get back in your basement and get on the Xbox so you can become the fat little American you're meant to be.
/that's retarded.
Fuck no kids, get back in your basement and get on the Xbox so you can become the fat little American you're meant to be.
My favorite game is Call of Duty 4 and my favorite sandwich is the double whopper. My basement is also very cool in the summer, and………..hey, was that a bust?
They coulda made much better use of thier time, had they went out and shanked some Dahhhkies, and anally raped some 12 year olds.
Yup, sounds just like fucking Connecticut. There's a reason why I've only been back to that state three times since I graduated high school fifteen years ago.
There goes these kids' one chance at being less douchey in their lives.
unless these kids go to church, this is probably their first instance of taking it up the ass from a bullshit system. congrats on poppin your cherry boys. theres more to come. just wait until you have to pay taxes.
become the fat little American you're meant to be.
Careful Canadian… Careful.
Oh, I'm sorry, it was a drainage area, so now that some kids are playing wiffle ball there, surely the next great flood is coming to Greenwich.
As a resident of a nearby town, let me be the first to say, from your lips to God's ears.
These are the same people who went to court to fight the state's open shoreline policies, then when they lost instituted ridiculous fees for "out-of-towners" to access their beaches and parks. Fuck them and their lawyers.
I hope someone buried a yankees jersey under the lemonade cooler