A Ball Don't Lie reader went to the trouble of running the names of the players on the U.S. men's basketball team through The Hilton Hotel's Chinese name converter feature and the results are, well, somewhat amusing. 

'Melo becomes "mansion glorious,"  Bron-Bron becomes a wide willow tree and Kobe is still known for banging. 

Of course, knowing the Chinese, there's probably some insidious double meaning that translates to "not welcome in my restaurant" and "don't marry my daughter" for each of them. Not that they didn't cast the daughters down a deep chasm, but had they not, they wanted some sort of linguistic backup in place to drive the point home.