Fans expecting a night of jumpers and bounce passes at last night's LA Sparks-Detroit Shock game were instead treated to an episode of the Bitchy & Scratchy Show, as the final five seconds exploded into a melee, ruining thousands of father-daughter bonding sessions and lesbian dates.  Well, maybe not the lesbian dates.  Superstar rookie Candace Parker — the woman who has dunked in a game twice as many times as everyone in the history of the WNBA combined — was at the center of the tempest:

Parker got tangled up with Detroit’s Plenette Pierson and fell to the ground. As she was getting up, Pierson intentionally ran into her, setting off the melee.  Parker threw a punch at Pierson before being tackled by Detroit’s Deanna Nolan. Players and coaches from both teams joined in, and Mahorn knocked Lisa Leslie to the court at one point.

Pierson, Parker, Mahorn, and DeLisha Milton-Jones (who shoved and punched Mahorn) were all ejected, at which point the two teams played the agonizingly slow final 4.5 seconds of he game.

From a spectator standpoint, I have to say: it's a pretty good scuffle.  Certainly not an all-out brawl, but definitely more serious than some dinky catfight.  I guess the WNBA finally showed they can play like their male counterparts.  "Malice at the Palace II."  Much better than the name for regular Shock games, Malaise at the Palace.