DIE DIE DIE
07.07.08
I did my best to avoid this when it surfaced last week, but the Brett Favre Neverending Indecision Train to Unretirement keeps chugging along, and I'm powerless to ignore its whistle. Today, Chief Favre Fellater Emeritus Peter King took off his lipstick and weighed in on the future of the 38-year-old former/non-former Packers QB:
No. 4 wants to play football again, and the Green Bay Packers desperately do not want him to. Will he play? I don't know. I don't think he knows. He has, however, told coach Mike McCarthy he wants to return.
The issue is going to be pressed soon. I fully expect Favre's agent to send a letter to the Packers within the next 10 days, stating that Favre, 38, wants to be taken off the National Football League's reserve/retired list. At that point, the team will have no choice but to re-admit the league's most accomplished statistical quarterback ever back to football, and [the Packers] can take Favre and his $12.8-million cap number back onto the team and give him his starting job back, they can trade him or they can release him.
Every one of those options makes the Packers wretch. I've been told an edgy McCarthy told Favre, in their most recent phone conversation a couple of weeks ago, the legendary quarterback would put the Packers in a tough spot by reneging on his March 6 retirement. Favre understands. But I don't think it's going to stop him from doing what his body tells him to do — play football again.
Listen, I know I've been rooting for Brett Favre's legs to get eaten off by Kiln-area alligators for the last three or four years, but I'm willing to tolerate one final round of this bullshit if it means Favre gets traded to a divisional rival like the Vikings or Bears. The number of aneurysms and heart attacks that would cause in weak-minded Midwesterners warms the darkest parts of my soul. And by "darkest parts" I mean "all."

I read this this morning and was shocked that King was somewhat critical of his lover. I guess the bottom bitch is tired of receiving all the time.
My body tell me to do lots of stuff, most recently Ana Ivanovic.
When asked to give his opinion, Michael Jordan said, "I do not like Korean Barbecue"
I would rather watch a year of the Sex Cannon and Neck Beard that turns into a 3-13 season than a year of 16-plus games of Favre Fellation resulting in a Bears playoff appearance.
Seriously.
I do not concurr… Sir… I would like to see one year of Favre, BEARING the weight of bringing the Bears (see that! Booya!) back to the Soup-purrrr-bowl. Da Coach would be proud.
Besides, Captain Jack Orton and Sexy Rexy might learn a thing or two from the original cum slinger.
Peter King listens to R. Kelly?
([www.youtube.com])
if he comes back im changing my prediction for the detroit lions frmo 3-13 to totally fucked (again).
I'm in favor of any news that generates images of dead horses on WL. Nice shoes, asshole.
"Listen, I know I've been rooting for Brett Favre's legs to get eaten off by Kiln-area alligators for the last three or four years"
Do you even realize how many Outside the Lines segments, Sal Palantonio reports, and Chris Berman candlelight vigils this would generate? It's bad enough now when his legs are still intact.
Look Brett. I think we're different people now. I have moved on.
No of course I still think about you, but I don't feel that way about you anymore.
What's that? Um, well, yes, I am seeing someone else now. Remember that guy that pronounces his last name like it is spelled? Yeah him.
Look I need someone who won't hurt me anymore, I need someone's mediocrity that I can depend on to break my heart. I need someone that could maybe beat the Cowboys once in Dallas in 9 tries.
Plus, I hate having to do three ways with those slobs Peter and John, just to get you to notice me.
Damn you Favre, let me get closure. I hate you so much…..
Alright, let's be serious here. As much as it would excite you, there is no way in hell Favre would go to Minnesota or Chicago.
The Packers would trade him before releasing him, simply to avoid him from ending up with a divisional rival. There's no way they would actually place him there themselves.
King was right about one thing, A. Rodgers response if Fav-rah does come back. I personally think A-Rodg is handling this all wrong. If I were him, I swear I would be dropping a "Its no big deal. If he does come back I am just one more year and one more playoff game ending interception away from being the starter. just like last year" blasts to everyone who put a microphone in front of me.
Dear Brett Favre,
Eat a dick.
- NFL Fans outside of Green Bay
Come on, don't you want to see more game-ending interceptions like he had in the NFC Championship Game? I'd love to see that again.
I agree with The View. As much I would like to laugh in the face of Packers fans, I would never buy a Brett Favre Vikings jersey. He's been in Wisconsin for so long, my Champs Sports bag would smell like rotten cheese all the way home.