Lucious Pusey looks to have some company on the NCAA All-Unfortunate Name Team with the news that Michigan has secured a second commitment from QB recruit Shavodrick Beaver. But you can call him Shav. Shav Beaver. Ah yes, feel the razor burn. A few wags (and not the British WAGs who might have shaved beavers) are finding the expected humor out of it. 

I can't wait to go to this kids first game in the maize and blue…Im gonna make a big sign that says "SHOW ME YOUR BEAVER!" hahaha

LOLLERDERBY! Naturally, fans will see the sign, have a hearty life. Maybe a teammate tells him the quarterback about it. He espies the placard and worries that he, despite his name, has no beaver to show. The following day, he gets a sex change operation. This is name, this curse, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. That's why you take extreme care when naming your children. My son, little Normal Regular-El, won't have that problem. DON'T YOU MOCK HIM!