Thank you ballboy!

A day after Maria Sharapova was upset by a little-known flinty daughter of a Greco-Roman wrestler, another gorgeous tennis star goes down at Wimbledon. And not even on me. 

Serbia's Ana Ivanovic, the no. 1 ranked player both in the world and in my pants, today was upset in straight sets by no. 131 ranked Zheng Jie, who doesn't even have the courtesy to look like Zhang Ziyi. The nerve of these unsexy tennis players!

What reason am I left to watch Wimbledon now? Crazy British reality show star showing her ass and encouraging players to dress alluringly? *Sigh* That'll do.

Ivanovic must have forgotten to give the requisite kisses to her lucky netcord like she did on Wednesday. That'll learn ya, Ana.

For your edification, I've wrapped myself in the stuff. Perhaps a little too tightly. Oh no…passing out…even before…getting arrested for stalking.