Hello, everyone. Vince aka Lance Martini of FilmDrunk here to talk MMA news again.
Yes, Thiago Alves beat Matt Hughes' ass. Yes Mirgliotta shouldn't have stopped the Vera fight. Yes that Matt Wiman fight was one of the best in history. Yes Michael Bisping is a badass. Yes Mike Swick landed a sweet headkick (a "head swick", you might say…). Yes Jason Lambert should probably start covering his face. These are the top stories coming out of UFC 85. But in my mind, there are really only two things to report:
NATE MARQUARDT POWERBOMBED MY HEART
UFC is like the opposite of bikini waxes in that I always root against the Brazilian. As you can see by this gif animation (or this still), Marquardt pulled off the most badass move in UFC history late in the third round against Thales Leites. I felt as if I'd waited my whole life prior to that moment before finally discovering the reason I have eyes. Oh, and then he got totally jobbed in the decision. Marquardt clearly won the last two rounds, which would make the score 30-27 or 29-28 for Marquardt, depending on how you score the first. Eeeexcept, Marquardt got two points deducted (that's right, two, never seen that happen before) for an elbow to the back of the head, making the score 28-27 for Leites on two cards and 28-27 for Marquardt on the other. I'm pretty sure the Texas piledriver should be worth at least four extra points. …Oh, it's illegal you say? …Carry on then.
JESUS WOULDN'T TAP
In his post-win interview, Thiago Alves donned a shirt that said "Jesus Didn't Tap" (and right next to an ad for CondomDepot! So. Many. Jokes. …Must. Resist. Mocking. Savior…). It didn't include the helpful visual like this (grr, crucifix position!) but it did tastefully use a cross for the "T". No word on whether the shirt was officially a reference to Jesus Christ, or to Jesus "Chingasos" Ramos, the Mexican Judo sensation of Oaxaca. (Full results after the jump)
Thiago Alves defeats Matt Hughes via TKO (Strikes) Round 2
Micheal Bisping defeats Jason Day via TKO (Strikes) Round 1
Mike Swick defeats Marcus Davis via Unanimous Decision
Thales Leites defeats Nate Marquardt via Split Decision
Frabrico Werdum defeats Brandon Vera via TKO (Strikes) Round 1
Martin Kampmann defeats Jorge Rivera via submission (guillotine choke) in round one
Matt Wiman defeats Thiago Tavares via knockout in round two
Kevin Burns defeats Roan Carneiro via submission in round two
Luis Arthur Cane defeats Jason Lambert via technical knockout (strikes) in round one
Paul Taylor defeats Jess Liaudin via split decision
Antoni Hardonk defeats Eddie Sanchez via technical knockout (strikes) in round two
You can read a whole nice recap here.