06.05.08 TIGER AND LEFTY WILL PAIR UP AT U.S. OPEN
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It's no secret that Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson are the two best golfers in the world, separated only by a metaphorical ocean of desire and concentration that Mickelson will never have. It's also no secret that the two have, at best, a chilly relationship. So it's definitely intriguing (relatively, for the golf world) that the two would be paired together for the first two rounds of next week's U.S. Open at Torrey Pines. The stated goal is to have golfers of similar talent playing at the same time to lessen the effect of weather on the outcome, but FanHaus's delicious, delicious Shane Bacon feels otherwise:
Tiger and Phil both live in California and have an enormous fan base there, so people are going to be mauling each other trying to see these two playing together. The galleries are going to be Woodstock thick, which will be bad for any golfer playing a passing hole or any of the groups behind or in front of the two.
Full tee times will be released today, but their plan is to have the top 12 golfers in the world all paired together and clumped together in four different tee times. Could you imagine being a top 12 golfer and drawing the group in front of the Big Three [Mickelson, Woods, and Adam Scott]? You wouldn't have a shot all day without someone running ahead of you or cheering behind you. It's going to be chaos.
Chaos on the golf course! People will be elbowing quietly to stay off the long stretches of perfectly manicured grass! Absolute silence will be difficult to maintain! Holy fuck, call the National Guard!
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There are 16 comments about:
TIGER AND LEFTY WILL PAIR UP AT U.S. OPEN
C'mon, Ufford. Don't you mean "metaphorical ocean of desire and concentration"?
Sheesh, and you bitch about Tunison not copyediting his stuff…
Dos Selmas! Ai Yie Yie.
i cant understand how people can go to a golf course and watch golf. if you want to watch grass grow go to the park for free.
fucking idiots
Soooo….California's pairing up dudes the same week their allowing gay marriages to take place? Now that's synergy!
*they're
Yeah, living in California is the reason that Tiger has a big fan base there…
So remind me again why I'm supposed to care.
I don't really care. I don't think anybody really watches golf any more, do they?
More people will watch this than hockey, eh, black golfer guy???
Come on now guys! Don't you all want to watch Tiger treat old lefty like his bitch? Take longing ganders at their hot ass wives? I DO!!!!
/Man love for TW
GET IN THE HOLE!!!!!!!
Re: GET IN THE HOLE!!!!!!!
They should make it legal for golfers to walk up to any asshole who screams that, and use any club in their bag (excluding the driver) to strike the offending party upside the head.
Chaos on the golf course!
I'd listen to them long before I ever listen to Panic! at the Disco.
@ zack - I totally agree. Worst part is, these idiots are yelling it for the tee shot on a 500 yard par 5. Probably at least one more shot to go before the golfer is trying to get it in the hole for real, genius.
oh, and Tiger lives in Orlando.
Phil Mickelson has a fan base? I'm tossing out the red flag and calling bullshit on that one.
This is a great picture. I see Tiger just getting the coat over his shoulders and a group of heavy-set Italians throwing their car keys to him.
that was insensitive, I'll just get going now
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