It wasn't enough for Alla Kudryavtseva, the 154th ranked player in the world, to deal a massive upset to the pneumatic and pneumatic-drill-sounding Maria Sharapova at Wimbledon. No, the 20-year-old Russian felt the need to dis the designer duds of her fellow countrywoman. 

But there was worse to come, for Kudryavtseva, who is not one of the glamour girls of tennis, said that Sharapova’s status as a fashion icon had got under her skin. “It’s very pleasant to beat Maria,” she said. “I don’t like her outfit. Can I put it this way? It was one of my motivations to beat her.”

[Sucks on teeth] Nuh-uh. I know you did not. That's some triflin' shit, gurl.

And "not one of the glamour girls of tennis" is a fine euphemism for sunken-faced prickletwat. But I can't say that kind of looks-based animosity is exclusive to women. That's why Ufford's so hard on my editing skills. He's just jealous of this small face on my big head. Don't worry, Matt, you'll be the glamour girl of blogging someday.