Zara Phillips, who is a granddaughter of pointless figurehead British monarch Queen Elizabeth II as well an expert wearer of hats, has been selected to join England's equestrian team at the Summer Olympics in Beijing. She's also 12th in line for the throne, but first in line to captain the Olympic motorboating team.

And Zara didn’t get the job just because of her royal lineage. She did win a gold medal at last year’s World Equestrian Games. And she comes from good breeding stock – dad Mark Phillips won gold at the 1972 Munich Olympics, while mom Princess Anne won the 1971 European title and competed in the 1976 Montreal Games.

So… she's actually qualified? That's no fun and, worse still, wholly unrepresentative of what rich-people sports like equestrianism stand for. It's supposed to be all about nepotism and privilege, stupid. I don't even know what they judge in equestrian events. I just assumed two people sit on horses and whomever of the two is worth more money wins.