Laugh if you want, but his is the best paper ever.The Houston Chronicle has a short profile of Matti Leshem, the commissioner of the USA Rock Paper Scissors League, in advance of the organization's national championship this weekend in Vegas. Besides the shocking revelation that he relates his experiences playing the game in Star Wars metaphors, Leshem says peak physical conditioning is the key to triumphing in the nerd-a-minute world of RPS. Actually, it's just constantly throwing rock. Good ol' rock, nothing beats that.

"Certainly being physically fit makes a big difference. I am very serious about my physical training for Rock Paper Scissors," Leshem said, although the most strenuous activity the game requires is for a player to show his hands.

Well, that's a little more editorializing than I like to see in a news feature, Mrs. Lana Berkowitz. Actually, the most strenuous aspect of RPS is dragging your sorry ass out of bed in the morning when you're only known to the world as a champion of schoolyard games. Let me tell you, being the top foursquare player in the world is a heavy crown to bear.