I hate bullshit power rankings, so I make up my own.

1. Nereida Gallardo.  I'm sorry if I ever said anything bad about you.  And if you haven't checked out the WAGS tag this week, you're missing out on all sorts of bikini'd goodness.

2. Vince McMahon.  Somehow fooled the local news into thinking the fakest fake that's ever been faked wasn't faked.

3. Illegal Use of Hands.  Fine, don't comment on this post.  It's still a bad-ass video.

4. Shav Beaver. Hey, couldn't he have played for the Oregon State Beavers?  Or the South Maine Bearded Clams?

5. Shaq.  Plus one for the Kobe dis video, minus two for getting owned by a wrinkled old white dude.  

6. Kim Couture.  "You found me beautiful once…" "Honey, you got reeeeal ugly."

7. Wimbledon.  Thumbs down to the hottest chicks losing, thumbs up to snipers killing disgusting pigeons. 

8. Felix Hernandez.  The Seattle ace was the focal point of my trip to Shea, hitting a grand slam and getting injured in a play at the plate.  Also a part of that night: sweet, sweet subway vomit.  Mmm-MM!

9. Venus and Serena Williams.  They're Jehovah's Witnesses?  Is that the crazy religion that runs Hollywood or the crazy religion that runs Utah?  What do you mean, "Neither"?  Are you trying to tell me there are more than two crazy religions?

10. Zombie kickball.  Still a faster-pace game than golf.

Video of the week.  Have I used this one before?  Eh, maybe, maybe not.  I don't exactly keep the greatest record of what I do here.  What are you, the IRS?