Euro 2008 – In capturing the country's first Euro title in 44 years, Spain vanquished all their long-held curses: winning on June 22, then winning with the unlucky yellow jerseys. Yesterday, in a game that was billed to be open and fast-paced, it turned out to be a fairly stolid affair almost entirely dominated by the Spaniards. Fernando Torres got the game's only goal with a forceful drive through Philipp Lahm, then deftly flicking it over German keeper Jens Lehmann. The German's Michael Ballack, whose status was questionable coming in, had to leave just before half with a bloody cut on his head. His injury prevented him for bolstering an anemic German attack. He'll just have to keep getting used to finishing second. Lehmann, who was tormented by Torres throughout the match and was a bit fortunate to only have given up one goal, announced his retirement afterwards. I hear they like retired Germans in Argentina.

MLB – The Cubs and the White Sox have now traded homefield sweeps in the same month. The Sox completed theirs at The Cell last night with a 5-1 win in which all their runs coming via the long ball. The all-time series remains tied at 33-33… The Nats have become quite proficient at getting wins in the walk-off variety, if not wins in general. Yesterday, it was Ronnie Belliard hitting a two-run homer in the bottom of the 12th to give the Nationals their eighth final at-bat victory of their 18 home wins… The Angels hold the Dodgers to three hits and actually win this time!…The Rays took two of three from the Pirates and the Red Sox dropped another to the Astros as Tampa leapfrogged Boston into first in the AL East in advance of the three-game set between the teams beginning today.

Assorted sports I scarcely care about – 19-year-old InBee Parks wins U.S. Women's Open… Kurt Busch wins rain-shortened Lenox Industrial Tools 301

Saint Andrew's Net is With Leather's daily link dump. You could refer to each one as a dumplink, which sounds like dumpling, but then someone would have to punch you in the cock.

• SportsbyBrooks relays the tale of the Chicago beer vendor who spends the off-season making small donations to impoverished folks around the world. So that's why I never got my change back.
• Lion in Oil has an unexplained but amusing photo of the two nanciest ninnies ever to play doubles tennis . And quite a few nancies and even more ninnies have played, so the competition is stiff. Probably because they like staring at their partner.
• Three guys streak with socks over their naughty bits at a Cape Cod Summer League game, as featured in a video on Sox & Dawgs. Is it any wonder no one chases them?
• Deuce of Davenport learns that a World Series of Poker musical is in the works. Raffaella Fico makes me shuffle my deck. Maybe she can be involved.
• Machochip looks at how Euro 2008 kept Spanish guys out of a erotic film festival in Barcelona. Maybe Almodovar was right about them all along.

Send your tips and submissions for Saint Andrew's Net to withleather@gmail.com. 

What to watch for in this weekend's biggest matchups.  One team or another in ALL CAPS.

YANKEES over Mets — Whatever.

LEAVING NEW YORK over Yankees-Mets — Weekend forecast: temps in the 90s with brief thunderstorms to guarantee 3000% humidity.  If you're staying in the city, be sure to swing by Chinatown for the smell of hot rotted fish.  Or as I like to call it, Eau de Kardashian.

GERMANY over Spain — Personally, I think Spain's the better team, but they have a history of choking in big games, and I'm too chickenshit to make a daring pick.

INDIANS over Reds — Ah, the interleague battle of Ohio.  Friends, it's ALWAYS okay to cheer for a catastrophic meteor strike.

Thus completes another week.  Five more tick marks on the wall closer to death.  Have a great weekend! 

I hate bullshit power rankings, so I make up my own.

1. Nereida Gallardo.  I'm sorry if I ever said anything bad about you.  And if you haven't checked out the WAGS tag this week, you're missing out on all sorts of bikini'd goodness.

2. Vince McMahon.  Somehow fooled the local news into thinking the fakest fake that's ever been faked wasn't faked.

3. Illegal Use of Hands.  Fine, don't comment on this post.  It's still a bad-ass video.

4. Shav Beaver. Hey, couldn't he have played for the Oregon State Beavers?  Or the South Maine Bearded Clams?

5. Shaq.  Plus one for the Kobe dis video, minus two for getting owned by a wrinkled old white dude.  

6. Kim Couture.  "You found me beautiful once…" "Honey, you got reeeeal ugly."

7. Wimbledon.  Thumbs down to the hottest chicks losing, thumbs up to snipers killing disgusting pigeons. 

8. Felix Hernandez.  The Seattle ace was the focal point of my trip to Shea, hitting a grand slam and getting injured in a play at the plate.  Also a part of that night: sweet, sweet subway vomit.  Mmm-MM!

9. Venus and Serena Williams.  They're Jehovah's Witnesses?  Is that the crazy religion that runs Hollywood or the crazy religion that runs Utah?  What do you mean, "Neither"?  Are you trying to tell me there are more than two crazy religions?

10. Zombie kickball.  Still a faster-pace game than golf.

Video of the week.  Have I used this one before?  Eh, maybe, maybe not.  I don't exactly keep the greatest record of what I do here.  What are you, the IRS? 

This morning I had a couple sexy pictures of Cristiano Ronaldo with girlfriend Nereida Gallardo, and it made everyone happy, especially my #1 fan: me.  Then I saw all these other photos of C-Ron and his Mallorcan wet nurse (What?  Nurse in the surf = wet nurse), and I thought, whatever man, it's Friday.  The handful of people still at work who didn't leave early for the beach SURELY want to look at a crapload of pictures of people at the beach.  People at the beach who are better-looking and richer than they are and can afford to rent $100 million yachts, while they're still in their stuffy offices at a dead-end job that pays too little and doesn't make them happy, working on an Excel spreadsheet that their boss won't even look twice at.

Yeah, this should cheer them right up. 

(even MORE ass-tastic photos with lap-diving HERE)

A day after Maria Sharapova was upset by a little-known flinty daughter of a Greco-Roman wrestler, another gorgeous tennis star goes down at Wimbledon. And not even on me. 

Serbia's Ana Ivanovic, the no. 1 ranked player both in the world and in my pants, today was upset in straight sets by no. 131 ranked Zheng Jie, who doesn't even have the courtesy to look like Zhang Ziyi. The nerve of these unsexy tennis players!

What reason am I left to watch Wimbledon now? Crazy British reality show star showing her ass and encouraging players to dress alluringly? *Sigh* That'll do.

Ivanovic must have forgotten to give the requisite kisses to her lucky netcord like she did on Wednesday. That'll learn ya, Ana.

For your edification, I've wrapped myself in the stuff. Perhaps a little too tightly. Oh no…passing out…even before…getting arrested for stalking.