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MLB – Joba Chamberlain made his highly awaited (by Yankee fan diptards) first start and it turned out to be nothing more than an extended relief appearance, as the animated (read: chest-thumping doucheface) hurler walked four and got his first career balk in 2 1/3 innings of work in a 9-3 loss to the Blue Jays…In other news relating to underperforming New York teams, Pedro Martinez returned to notch his first win of the season, allowing three runs in 6 innings of nothing to do with midgets and cockfighting. Boooo… Randy Johnson passes Roger Clemens to become 2nd on the all-time strikeout list, then cinches up his career loss total, giving up a homer to Ryan Braun en route to his second loss of the season…Erik Bedard continues his torrid campaign of highly compensated mediocrity for the Mariners as Joe Saunders get his AL-leading 9th win in an Angels 5-4 victory.

Women's College World Series – Arizona State beat Texas A&M to claim the national championship in a 11-0 nailbiter. I believe another undie run is in order.

French Open – Birfday boy Rafael Nadal and Novak Djokovic to meet in the semifinals, then once there, possibly play a match against one another. Ana Ivanovic to meet me in a fantasy rooftop restaurant where the dessert menu all comes served on her tits. Yeah, I need that to be interested in tennis.