
ESPN conducted a direct marketing campaign in Asia in which they shipped out giant eyeballs in boxes (full image here). Recipients opened up the box, and BAM, there's a huge fucking eye staring at you. Maybe that seems creepy to us sane people, but according to the marketing team who put it together, it worked great. Very great.
This DM exercise resulted in achieving extremely positive reactions from the targeted media community and the awareness for the key statistics showed a very positive increase. It facilitated in creating a very favorable environment for the subsequent sales process.
You see, it's effective because sports use balls, and ESPN wants more eyes, and eyes are balls. Eyeballs. Eye-BALLS. Eye. Balls. Get it? It took some brazen outside-the-box thinking, but all that blood, sweat, and giant basketball tears were worth it.


clockwise from top left:
winslow after a few bumps. winslow after back to back lines. winslow after about a g. winslow after an 8-ball. winslow after realizing that the sun is coming up soon and we need more coke. winslow at the end of day 2.
what?
Ah, my eye! My doctor said I wasn't supposed to get pudding in it.
Hooker 1 through 6 after a night with the Doogster!
BTW, how did you get those out of my fruit jars?
So that's what happened to Stuart Scott.
Those ESPN comments are total marketing bullshit. Sounds like every fucking marketing bullshitter I ever met. Key statistics were met – this means we said we were going to send out 1,000, and we did.! It facilitated a positive environment – nobody bought anything you assholes! Resulted in achieving positive reactions – in the kids they gave them to. Fucking marketing assholes!
Detective David Mills disapproves.
One comment:
Clear Eyes
/Ben Stein
Why not send that bull figther's balls?
I have lawn darts painted too look like my junk.
Fucking marketing assholes!
Reminds me of a classic Bill Hicks bit: "If anyone here is in marketing or advertising, please kill yourselves. There's no joke coming. … I know what all the marketing people are thinking right now too, 'Oh, you know what Bill's doing, he's going for that anti-marketing dollar. That's a good market, he's very smart.'"
I'm sorry, but "facilitated a positive environment"? Aren't those just terms stupid people use to sound smart?
I'm fired, aren't I?