Yesterday David Ortiz became an American citizen, so he could torment John Rocker by enjoying the full rights afforded by the Constitution while speaking only un tooch of de Ingles. Apparently, inclusion in the U.S. of Gay that is Red Sox Nation doesn't stack up to being an full-blooded American.
Ortiz joined 226 immigrants from 57 countries as they raised their right hands and took the Oath of Citizenship at the John F. Kennedy Library in Dorchester.
"My whole family, kids, and everyone have been born here," Ortiz, who was born in 1975 in Santo Domingo, told reporters afterward. "It's a great country – proud to be here, now proud to be a part of it."
Ortiz's wife, American-born Tiffany, added: "It's a big deal for him. It's really important, and I'm really proud of him."
When pressed by reporters, Ortiz did not endorse a presidential candidate.
Sweet Jiminy Christmas Ape, reporters are annoying as hell. "Hey, slugger, congrats on becoming a citizen, care to say something controversial for me to print?" Ortiz was surely disappointed to discover citizenship doesn't allow one to hunt members of the media for sport like in the Dominican Republic. Which truly is the greater nation?
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we should blow boston out to sea.
Which way to the welfare office?!!
/Apu
Ortiz will vote for McCain. After all Ortiz was born a Republican, Dominican that is.
/shows self out
Oh he is a citizen now? So I can be a complete asshole to him and people just have to deal with it?
Hey Ortiz, ever been to spin class?
Ortiz wore a giant pair of MC Hammer sunglasses with gold trim to the ceremonies, never taking them off inside, even when they administered the oath.
Is it too soon to have his citizenship revoked?
Ortiz is a 56 year old Chink? Who knew?
EBERY GANE! EBERY GANE!
@ HHY – not only is he a 56 y/o chick, he's also from the future.
"Applicants are required to speak, read, and write basic English; pass a test on US history and civics; have good moral character; and promise to adhere to the Constitution."
there's no fucking way manny ramirez or david ortiz can do any of this.
Do immigrants have social security numbers?
Since he's "American" now, will he be going by Large Father?
@Enrico
No. Just douchebag.
did ape just refer to himself in the third person? or is that really a saying?
That's actually kinda mean of his wife.
It's a big deal FOR HIM. In other words, she could care less about being a part of a milestone in Ortiz's life.
Great. Another Bostonian who can vote.
/Still Blames Mass. for Dukakis and Kerry
C'mon Larry, look at the guy, it's pretty obvious what his wife cares about. Yeah, that's right impeccably groomed facial hair.
Oh and in case anyone was curious, there's a pic of her here:
[sonsofsamhorn.net]
That may be the first recorded instance of someone hating Michael Dukakis.
What other bland, boring stuff enrages you? Ice milk? Cardboard? CBS Sunday Morning?