I won\'t lose by a nose this time!

The World Anti-Doping Agency is considering – between long stretches of not getting any – to add Viagra to its list of banned substances because athletes have started using it and similar drugs as performance enhancers. Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk, I bet they have. Right, buddy? Am I right? 'Cause… 'cause guys use it to get their dick hard. "Performance" here is another way of saying fucking, get it? Oh you'll get it. COME HERE!

Experts believe that Viagra, which dilates blood vessels, could help in events requiring explosive power, such as sprinting. Others suggest it could help endurance – not so much marathon sex sessions as marathon running – particularly at high altitude or in polluted conditions, such as those expected at the Beijing Olympics. The drug is believed to aid the delivery of oxygen and nutrients to muscles.

Because running a marathon with a raging hard-on sounds like it would improve your time? If the athletes wanted to have their dicks rubbed raw they'd have become bloggers. Uh-oh, I'm about to miss my scheduled 6:15 masturbation session. If I miss this one, I'll have to wait until the 6:30.