Note: I don't know what that headline means, but it's got a gynecological term in there, so let's lead with the Spurs.
NBA — Down by 20 halfway into the third quarter, the Lakers looked cooked against San Antonio. Then LA was all, "Hey Kobe Bryant, can you do that thing where you're the best basketball player on Earth?" Bryant, who had only 2 points on 1-3 shooting at the half, cranked out 25 in the second, and 14 in the decisive fourth quarter as the Lakers won 89-85. Mmmmm-MM! Try some of this hatred, it's delicious.
Soccer – I'm not a fan of Chelsea or Manchester United, but holy hell that was an incredible Champions League title game. Man U won 6-5 on penalty kicks after a 1-1 draw, but the real joy was watching the two best pro teams in the world (probably) play fast, aggressive, precise, and physical soccer for 120 minutes. Even if you hate soccer — and I know many of you do — there's something to be appreciated in the best two competitors duking it out in an epic match. Kinda like lesbian sex that way.
MLB — People are still running and throwing and hitting and catching. Not much going on, just the White Sox winning their seventh in a row. Oh, and Brandon Webb came up short in his bid to go 10-0. He gave up three whole runs in seven innings. What a loser.
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I'd like to smear some Pap all over Jia's face
naw mean??
"I don't understand your 'traveling' rules, Mr. Referee. I'm just an unfrozen caveman basketball player."
No doubt that at this very minute, Christiano Ronaldo is contracting more VD than we have ever even heard of before from numerous strippers and hookers at the same time. Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.
Did I just read that you compared HOT LESBIAN SEX to soccer? Dude….Hot lesbian sex is like a playoff game in the NFL going into over time..Soccer is like jerking off in a sock with your hot cousin looking at you…Not that I have done that or anything….
Fuck, I hate that Man Spew won! FUCK FUCK SHITE FUCKERS!
Fucking John Terry! Dumb twat! And Drogba's red card was total bullshit! What a brutal way to end a game too, on PKs! You don't end an American football game on field goal tries, or baseball games with a homerun derby, or that dreadful basketball sport with slam dunk competitions! Why end a Championship with indivdualism!? PURE SHITE!
I wish i had a hot cousin.
Yup, that was an epic final last night. I don’t think i’ve ever seen another sportsman look as devastated as the Chelsea captain last night as he fucked up his chance to win the game with one kick. So it goes. The sight of the German, Ballack, crying too was very unnerving. I’ve never seen a German cry before.
@C'Mon, you will never walk alone with me. Next year will be the year for our lads.
But what is really missing from this pap smear are the WNBA results. I need to know which lesbian did what last night!
You can't honestly and truthfully believe that NFL is more exciting than Futbol? Give me a break – too many time-outs, flags, coach's challenges, promos, tv spots, etc etc to allow excitement to grow in ANY NFL game. By the time a play actually happens, you could have gone to Taco Bell, had a Corona, shit out said Taco Bell, taken a nap, wacked off in said sock, pissed out said Corona and turned the TV back on. Then maybe the play would have happened, and hopefully not be reviewed for 45 mins because someone's shoelace may or may have not touched a white line!
Give me the beautiful game anyday!
@ C'Mon
[English Accent]
Cheerio mate, those bloody wankers couldn't do anything on the pitch. Hope you have fun catching the trolley!
[/English Accent]
How can you mention the UEFA final and not mention the Worst Slap in History?
[youtube.com]; (20 second mark, followed by slo-mo)
Only someone who speaks French could do something quite so daintily. It made the A-rod Arroyo slap look hard.
You can't honestly and truthfully believe that NFL is more exciting than Futbol?
um, yes we can.
Judging by last night, this Lakers-Spurs series is going to be really fun to watch.
On the other hand, the over/under of total minutes I watch the Celtics-Pistons series is 10. I'd bet the under.
Oh, give the futbol-football argument a rest. It's pointless and never goes anywhere. Some people like Scarlett Johansson, others prefer Megan Fox. And there are even a few retards who think Kirsten Dunst is all that.
Kirsten Dunst = MLB, by the way.
If there's one thing I hate more than soccer, it's English people using a Spanish accent. That's just silly.
To each his/her own, then Dog.
Though I am guessing that Paint-Drying & Grass-Growing must enduce a massive erection as well…then again, there are cheerleaders to watch when there is a TV time-out…gotta have the obligatory Bud tv-spot every 45 seconds!
Don't MAKE me start talking shit about the Revolutionary War, buddy. I got a history book right here. (I'm tutoring 8th graders!)
some people thought Kristin Dunst was hot?
Alright, I concede!
Was watching Bring it On again – the original, not the sequel, although all sequels should be suffixed Again – the other night and Kirsten Dunst looked kinda cute. She’s no Telly Savalas though.
And Telly Savalas is no Bea Arthur!
@Matt: Your Kirsten Dunst=MLB comparison – there's a double switch joke in there somewhere but I can't find it.
WWSM, you teach 8th graders?????? Why don't you have a seat right here…..Don't mind the cameras….What is the polaroid for, and this little schnaps bottle, and cookies?
What Matt said.
You all don't have to like futbol, but remember that when you take the time to whine about how you find it's boring, you sound like my mother bitching about the NFL.
You can't honestly and truthfully believe that NFL is more exciting than Futbol?
To "believe" is to have confidence that something is true without any proof. Therefore you are correct sir. We can honestly and truthfully KNOW that the NFL is more exciting than Futbol.
You can't honestly and truthfully believe that Futbol is more exciting than the NFL? Give me a break – too many people taking dives, phantom yellow cards, tv spots, etc etc to allow excitement to grow in ANY Futbol game. By the time a score actually happens, you could have gone to Taco Bell, had a Corona, shit out said Taco Bell, taken a nap, wacked off in said sock, pissed out said Corona and turned the TV back on. Then maybe the score would have happened.
Give me the beautiful game anyday!
It isn't so much that soccer is boring, it is all the stupidity attached to it, from rolling on the ground crying after being tripped, to the riots that follow, or shit, even happen DURING the match…The only thing I like, is the amount of hot ass women that these idiots bang, and the pics that follow.
"remember that when you take the time to whine about how you find it's boring, you sound like my mother bitching about the NFL."
Also remember that when you have sex with someone, you're having sex with everyone they've ever had sex with.
Which, when you thing about it, is fucking awesome.
OMG. Sharon Stone has a penis.
C'Mon – your arguments have not moved me, but I do need to applaud your use of the word twat. In my humble opinion, the word is criminally underused.
Kirsten Dunst = NCAA women's synchronized underwater ping-pong.
Nobody understands it, and it's fucking horrible to watch, yet somehow it keeps getting funded.
Thanks Tarsook, for taking an original thought, and kind of making it your own. The highest compliment one is paid is being copied….thank you! Now get me a coffee….double-double.
say what you want about the spurs, at least they don't practice open-mouthed kissing on the court.
/no way shape or form a spurs fan. tony parker's little dive while holding his mouth after getting stroked gently in the neck was oscar worthy, the little puke.
//no flaming spurs fans, don't start that shit again.
Shut up about soccer, please. Let's focus on the massive choke by the Spurs for a minute. Where are all of their douchebag fans now???
It isn't so much that soccer is boring, it is all the stupidity attached to it, from rolling on the ground crying after being tripped (THAT IS THE SPANISH AND ITALIAN LEAGUES – NOT REAL FUTBOL), to the riots that follow, or shit, even happen DURING the match (THAT IS CALLED PASSION – SOME CHOOSE TO FACE PAINT, OTHERS CHOOSE TO FACE-PUNCH, DEAL WITH IT)…The only thing I like, is the amount of hot ass women that these
idiotsWORLD-CLASS ATHLETES bang, and the pics that follow.See what I did there, TORSOK, I took a page from yer book! HAH! Now, I will get doogie a coffee!
Anne Hathaway = Hockey, Maria Sharapova = women's curling (what, both are smooth, originated in cold places and have about as much friction with me.)
Maria sure sweeps my rocks. I'd like to get in her house and hurry hard to her button while I have the hammer.
/curling jokes
The reason soccer is so internationally popular is because international people are generally poor, and can't afford the necessary equipment for more exciting sports. C'mon You Reds can take his Euro-Trash haircut and Hashbar attitude and stick 'em where the sun don't shine.
People, people….whether you think futbol or the REAL football is better…lets put our differences aside and all agree that the Spurs and their fans are douchebags (pdan I am looking over at you buddy)
Hey Joe, um, how do I break this to you (and therefore dash your dreams of sassin' me)….I am NOT European. Though my hair is quite fetching!
One last thought, Joe – The only good Pigskin is bacon, ham or sausage, and not always in that order.
Man, I feel like tokin' up! Must be my attitude!
PS – LMMFAOASTAFIE!!!
(laugh my muther fucking ass off at suggesting that American football is exiting!)
oops, forgot the C! EXCITING!
Let's go ARGOS!