Red Sox Nation welcomed another into its fold when earlier this month Ryan Rogers was baptized in a font of blood from Schilling's sock at Fenway Park. How generous of the team to allow some private suite above the field to play host to that. A well-worn Sawx hat then materialized on the kid's head, he developed a speech that dropped all R's and he gained a predilection towards oversensitivity and casual racism. Eight vaginae also formed on various locations on his body, mostly on his face. 

He then pledged his life to the ever-shriller defense of the Red Sox, yelling "Youk!" at passersby, and following the Celtics and the Patriots, so long as they're winning.