
Stripper enthusiast Pacman Jones was sent packing to Dallas after the first year of his indefinite ban from the NFL, but commissioner Roger Goodell has yet to grant him reinstatement in the league. Why? Because Roger Goodell is a huge dick. And so, the Cowboys are joining the cause to get Pacman back in the league. Among Pac's supporters: gun-lovin' DT Tank Johnson, who rocked an eight-game ban under Der Commissar Herr Goodell.
Johnson looked into the camera and sent a message to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, loudly, clearly and with a big smile: "Roger, please, let him play! From Tank. Thanks, buddy." "Him," of course, is Adam "Pacman" Jones…
The team's department that works with troubled players hooked them up as sort of a mentorship. Nate Newton, Michael Irvin and others helped Johnson, and now he's reaching out to Jones.
Wait, stop the article. Would that be the same Nate Newton who was caught with 213 pounds of marijuana in his van? And then a month later was caught another 175 pounds of it, leading to a 30-month jail sentence? And I'm assuming this Michael Irvin character is the wide receiver who's renowned for his rumored drug and hooker expertise, extending even years after he had retired and was working for ESPN.
What an incredible program. Maybe they can get Charles Manson to be like, "Dude, take it from me: don't kill anyone. Although if you really wanna know how…"
[FanHaus]


I wonder what that department Christmas party is like…
When asked for comment, the Vegas bouncer said, "No, I'm down here."
Tank followed up his plea to Goodell with a "Donna Martin Graduates!"
Cowbays Mentorship Program
Thursdays 2:00-3:00 AM
Crazy Horse Gentlemen's Club
Cowboy players who are having marital problems are being mentored by Scott Peterson.
I hear Walt Garrison heads up their smokeless tobacco-cessation program.
note to self: nobody's going to get that
@Hugh, I had to look that one up.
Garrison was a long-time spokesman for Skoal smokeless tobacco.
who's renowned for his rumored drug and hooker expertise, extending even years after he had retired and was working for ESPN.
He got busted. Can't be that much of a expert….
Danbury Federal Penitentary=Dallas Cowboys Organization
/Blow Reference, eh? eh? anyone?
now thats a classy group of guys mentioned in this post
Heavy D is aging pretty well.
They'll need every convict they can get their hands on for that Baltimore game in December.
get your ass back to
MexicoDallas where all the other criminals come from