SCORE ANOTHER ONE FOR DOUCHEBAGS
05.20.08
The Hornets fell to loathsome Spurs 91-82 in Game 7 of the Western Conference semis in New Orleans last night, setting up a San Antonio-LA conference finals showdown that forces anyone with a soul to partake in the unenviable chore of cheering for the same team as Jack Nicholson.
Chris Paul (18 points, 14 assists, 8 rebounds, 5 steals) and the Bugs mounted a fourth-quarter comeback to whittle a 17-point lead down to three in the final minutes, but the Spurs' playoff experience, three-point shooting, and ability to act like complete bitches were simply too much for the young home team.
Balding puddle of feces Manu Ginobili led all scorers with 26 points on a blistering 6-19 shooting performance, while all-world bore Tim Duncan chipped in 16 and 14 boards. Stubblecunt Tony Parker added 17 and a Gallic look of being near the brink of tears, while the thrill-a-minute Spurs busted loose for two fast break points. Whoa, someone slow the game down!
In conclusion, the Riverwalk is just a sewage ditch. Fuck San Antonio in the pants.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/05/Pittman-Elbow-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/05/Screen-shot-2012-05-23-at-7.58.25-AM-180x180.png)
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
There is no God…
I hope "stubblecunt" catches on as a nickname for Mrs. Longoria. I mean, outside of his marital bed.
I keep hearing about how the Celtic/Lakers final might happen for the fist time since blah blah blah… at this point. The celtics/lakers final better happen if Mr. Stern wants anyone watching his league come June.
I will never, ever root for Kobe Bryant as hard as I will be in the 2008 Western Conference Finals.
Great call, Matt! You knew that after the Suns failed so miserably to get revenge for last year's suspensions, that the Little Buzzsaw That Could would need more help than a few buckets from a some guy named Pergo. It once again turns out once again that if you play basketball with an IQ of 78, three points higher than the league average, you're going to win.
Sorry, too many once agains.
I Don't Like The Saint Anthony Spurs
How can you not like The Most Exciting Team in Basketball?
This is a dark day for basketball.
Seriously, can Tim Duncan be more of a whining baby? Every trip down the floor he cries about either being fouled or having not committed a foul.
God, do I really have to cheer for Kobe now? Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
How can you not like The Most Exciting Team in Basketball?
FINALLY…. you say something funny.
Love it. Love it, love it, love it. You people who live in cities with loser teams probably don't understand this, but the only thing better than winning championships and being loved is winning them and being hated. Unbridled animosity towards your team adds an inexplicable jolt of electricty to the already-sublime pleasure of victory. Is it schadenfreude? Maybe. Or perhaps it's just the timeless, toe-curling combination of pleasure and pain — my pleasure, your pain.
Either way, keep crying in your beers while reading about Steve Nash's offseason soccer games and Chris Paul's charity work (I hear he's going to man a sump pump in the 9th Ward — good for him!) Just promise not to sob too quietly — we want to hear down in South Texas.
Hey, I hear ESPN 2 is running an AND1 marathon this weekend! Just think, all the fast breaks your sad little heart desires!
What a sad day in sports. Boston and San Antonio are both happy.
Ha ha, you live in Texas.
You're a classy guy, Prison Mike.
+1 Tim. Well said.
@Prison Mike; "Just promise not to sob too quietly — we want to hear down in South Texas."
Don't you have that already when you guys take your Mexicans back across the border. If that isn't sufficient I will send you a tape from Friday night. Just tune out the screaming.
I was waiting for a Spurs fan to get all disgruntled about this post. Thanks Prison Mike.
SPURS ARE GOING ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't hate….Appreciate
btw, I am not a Spurs fan and I really wasn't waiting for someone to get all disgruntled.
Tall cool 1, I only hope that one day you will realize what a terrible human being you are.
/fucked your mother
As horrible as this may sound I am actually going to start rooting for Boston.
The Spurs are going to go down in history as one of the best NBA teams.
Did you really think the Hornets were going to win.
Go Spurs Go!!!!!!!!!!
Ah, just do like I do. Root for a earthquake to kill everything in the Staples center during game 1. Joy.
Do Spurs fans really think that anyone hates the Spurs because they win? This ain't jealousy!
Its because they play incredibly boring basketball and their players are BITCHES. Simple as that. Has there ever been a less likeable team that gets blind love from the media?
Eat it bitches…and swallow hard. After actually WINNING the game, I think my second favorite thing is reading this sad sack and his loser cronies cry. It really brings it all home for me….you should definately bitch more. Please.
By the way Matt, you haven't mentioned you were in the military in, like, a day. Thought you might need a reminder.
Douchebag.
You people who live in cities with loser teams probably don't understand this
And you people who live in loser cities don't understand us either. Win-win.
The NBA Playoffs are dead to me.
Time to watch… crap, when does football start again!?
I'm sorry, Hardaway. I didn't realize someone already commenting on a post that wraps with "the Riverwalk is just a sewage ditch. Fuck San Antonio in the pants" would have such delicate sensibilities.
And for the record gents (and token lady posters) I'm not a disgruntled Spurs fan. I'm fully…gruntled? We won, see. So we get to keep playing.
Like I said, keep on keeping on with the whining and the crying.
By the way, Doogie, I'd post a response if I had any idea what you were talking about. Was that a dig? I slap on the back? A call for immigration reform? A recap of Friday Night Lights?
/over my head with the improper punctuation and vague subject/verb agreement.
Merk that avatar is way too cool for you, wtf. Thats a disgrace to the movie for you to dawn that
Prison Mike = The shit!
PrisonMike, you're funny. BTW, why are the nosebleeders in San Antone so fucking steep? I feel like I'm about to fall out of my seat whenever someone near me moves. And, for what it's worth, Austin kills the SA party scene. It's a no contest.
Any chance one of you sad bitches could cry a little more before I leave for lunch? Anyone?
I am just shocked at everyone commenting right now…shocked I say!!! People STILL actually care about the NBA??? Really?? This is a league where overpaid pansies cry and bitch about every bump and nudge they receive going to the lane, and where traveling apparently is legal. I watched about 5 mins of this game last night until I couldn’t stomach anymore, it was like watching a fucking soccer game. Nothing but a bunch of foreign wimps flopping around trying to get foul calls. Pathetic! Congratulations to the Spurs, biggest pussies in the league!!
TP – Agreed that Austin blows it out compareed to SA. But now that I'm heavily ensconsed in my 30s with a wife and kid, I don't really care anymore.
6th St. has that same general puky aroma that Bourbon Street has. I don't so much miss that. I do miss the live music, though.
Congratulations to the Spurs for a hard fought series against a young team with little to no playoff experience. Their grit and perseverance in a series that should have been decided in less than 6 games (if you like to pretend you're a defending champ with a pair) went to a full 7. Congrats to the Spurs. You have a bright future of slow, lifeless basketball. Unlike those pesky little Hornets. Man, I think it's re building time for them.
/who wins in the long run.
also.. @my 1 Kid fan club (merkmerk)
1. Go to the top right of the screen
2. Click on your avatar
3. Click on Send message (you can find me in the M's)
4. Keep your off topic bullshit to private messages, pookie. It's getting embarassing.
Thank you…Thank you. I somehow knew it would be you Merck. Again, thank you.
Fuck all of you whining little bitches who hate on the Spurs because your stupid little knicks or whoever tha fuck your loser city teams are sitting at home because they couldn't win more than 30 games a season hoping to get a good lottery number tonight. I'm tired of hearing your dumbasses bitch about how boring the Spurs are and how the playoffs are over.You do it because you represent the fucking toilet cities with low IQ's and high foreclosure rate because your too fucking stupid to balance a fucking check book just like your team is too fucking stupid to win a game in the NBA. You want to call Tim Duncan a cry baby, but here you fucking are coming on here and whining and bitching about how boring the Spurs are. Go read a fucking book you retard and learn the difference between fundemental basketball which wins NBA championships games and playground basketball that every fucking body with two legs (mostly) and two arms can play. Go play your ps2 or xbox because you can't afford a ps3 or xbox360 because your spending $50 for tickets to support your loser team in your city. To all of you who at least respect the Spurs or are Spurs fans, this comment is not for you. This comment is for all of those rotten motherfuckers who want to complain about shit they dont understand, like winning, and to cause a shit storm on this forum. Ha Ha! Just like the Spurs I get a laugh at your expense. Peace out bitches and I'll just sit here with my drink and read your retarded responses from your high school drop out, GED potential, living in a city that needs an enema inserted into the downtown area, non-spurs liking asses.
It's always funny until it's your team.
pdan, why you gotta hate on the Bricks like that? ouch, just ouch. You need to expand your horizons and get outta San Antone for a day or two pal.
keep on keeping on with the whining and the crying.
This is actually a chant that Spurs fans do for their team.
/Slowly backing away from pdan2929
It really makes no difference…
the title runs through detroit.
ZING, Tim! Way to take what I said that was pro Spurs and turn it around so that it's anti Spurs. Whoo! That is some serious, top-level commenting right there. You totally just switched the meaning of my words from good to bad! Bam! Just like that! How do you come up with shit like that?! Did you get that off the internet or something? You gotta let me in on that site, man. I could use material like that on other boards.
Whew…that was just awesome. Wow.
Touristy fanboy trolling aside: can we get the slang Stubblecunt & Firecrotch its own reality show on E! Television? They sound like a good time together after a bunch of appletini-Red Bulls, a trainyard of blown rails in the ladies room stall, and some sloppy upskirting in and out of limos on a weekly basis.
I would watch a show called Stubblecunt & Firecrotch, but only if they were crimefighters.
4. Keep your off topic bullshit to private messages, pookie. It's getting embarassing.
Pookie? Pookie? Are you fucking serious with that.
How has merk not been banned for being such a fucking dork yet?
This guy has zero good jokes and chimes in with obvious not sarcastic answers. How the hell is noone else annoyed with this loser.
Also ive been away from the with leather threads for months. So it isn't getting embarrassing. You're a fucking dork and don't know how to be funny, sarcastic, or even on par with the posters here.
This is some of the funniest stuff I have ever read. Angry, angry people.
Merk – Congratulations to the Spurs for a hard fought series against a young team with little to no playoff experience. Their grit and perseverance in a series that should have been decided in less than 6 games (if you like to pretend you're a defending champ with a pair) went to a full 7. Congrats to the Spurs. You have a bright future of slow, lifeless basketball. Unlike those pesky little Hornets. Man, I think it's re building time for them.
This is a 100% serious comment. Why does Merk still not understand the humor on this site. go to a basketball forum already if you want to talk like this.
Merk changes his avatar as often as I change my Hugo Boss boxer-briefs. You have to admit Merk, that's a little gay.
People who get offended or take too much pride in their favorite team should probably just leave now, because I hate you already.
WITH LEATHER STATEMENT OF PURPOSE
People who get offended or take too much pride in their favorite team should probably just leave now, because I hate you already.
WITH LEATHER STATEMENT OF PURPOSE
Merk changes his avatar as often as I change my Hugo Boss boxer-briefs. You have to admit Merk, that's a little gay.
It is a little gay that you change your Hugo Boss boxer-briefs so often.
Listen, Big Phil-Joe Buck is 100% guy's guy man.
I make more in one broadcast than your dad ever made. You don't win 7 Emmys without being the freshest man in the booth.
Wait, there's two Merks? What the fuck is that all about?
Careful fellas, you know how the Chief feels about commenter on commenter violence.
The Spurs are what killed Terry Schiavo.
I would just like to point out that all of my comments were positive and I did not say anything negative about any of you. In other words, I don't want to be associated with all the vitriol that occurred today.
Enrico and Terp are right. We shouldn't fight, we need to stick together or we'll never make it in this mixed-up, crazy world.
Look, I said some things, you guys said some things…Let's squash it like in one of those mid-90s PSAs about pickup basketball game fights.
In closing, I think we all can agree that the Spurs are awesome.
Love,
Prison Mike
i love ginobili as long as he's upright. nothing pisses me off more than watching a basketball game and having a soccer match break out. it's why i don't watch the spurs but i have to respect their winning ways.
i can't bring myself to cheer for kobe or boston, so it looks like i'm over basketball season. a san antonio/detroit part 2 just might kill basketball. but at least it'll have good fundamentals.
I prefer the late 70's PSAs about wearing seatbelts but whatever.
Detroit and San Antonio finals a few years ago was actually pretty damn entertaining. Of course the ratings sucked because you didn't have the entire cities of LA/Boston/NY watching.
I agree Detroit/San Antonio was entertaining, especially because we won. But as an aside about the ratings, San Antonio is actually the 7th largest city in the United States, while Boston ranks 24th.
[www.infoplease.com]
Yet the media metrics for San Antonio position it as the 31st biggest market. Those metrics don't take into account the fact that there's some 14,000 sqaure miles of small towns between here and Mexico that consistently watch and root for the Spurs.
7th largest in terms of population? land area? population density? what does that even mean?
Btw, people take this shit waaaayyyyyy too seriously….it's pretty entertaining…