I hate bullshit power rankings, so I make my own. 

1. Old-school Hollywood dancers.  After I watched this awesome video of Fred Astaire dancing to Michael Jackson's "Smooth Criminal," I remembered how much I dig Ginger Rogers, Leslie Caron, and Cyd Charisse (pictured), among others.  This breed of woman used to be featured every Friday in EDSBS's Cheesecake posts, but it was discontinued because the site's author got tired of commenters bitching about the supposed quality of the women.  Hmm, why does that sound familiar?

2. Christmas Ape.  His venture to LA gave us the Maxim party post and an erudite film review.  Note: we will try not to use the word "erudite" on this site again.

3. Anyone playing the San Antonio Spurs.  Today, a reader asked why With Leather hates them so.  And I say, don't try to analyze something as beautiful as irrational hatred.

4. Bears.  The #1 threat to America since at least 1969.

5. The return of Dice-K news.  Welcome back, gigantic Japanese breasts. 

6. Bowel control.  This guy didn't have it.  To self: Dear sphincter, thank you for working. 

7. Punishment for floppers.  Honestly, if I lacked the pride that keeps me from being a cowardly faker, I think I'd rather be fined than lectured by Red Auerbach.

8. Detroit Red Wings.  Look, hockey's still going on.  Verrrrrry sloooooooowlyyyyyyy.  But if the Red Wings are good enough for Kristen Bell, then, well, I still don't care.  But I would like to see her naked.

9. Vanessa Bryant.  Hot and crazy. And apparently willing to forgive out-of-wedlock anal sex with hotel workers.  Good news for me, I can't quit Romanian bellhops.

10. Eli Manning.  Went to the Sex and the City premiere.  Least surprising story all week. 

This week's video: in honor of last night's Lost finale, here's every nickname Sawyer's tossed around.