We've hadone excruciating video today, a painful video with a song. Now it's time for a simply abhorrent audio track for any ladies out there still trying to get the best value for their sexual servitude. Well, Kickette digs up a parody song titled "Become a WAG," which advices the young, comely and loose of morals to embark on the high life of being a British soccer player's floozy. 

Basically do what all the girls on The Hills do, except in a way that will make famous guys attracted to you. The best way to do that? Be born with DNA that determines you will be hot later in life. So, there you go. Get on it.

I will say there needs to be a countervailing force to draw some of those, like Noemie Lenoir, away from WAGdome and onto, heh, my…WANGdom (comedy!).

Why do British soccer players' girlfriends get a term like that? What about for blogger's girls? They could be called DAGs. As in "Dag, yo, that girl is inflated!"