Red Wings right winger Tomas Hoimstrom, who it seems has that TomASS, got a goal by teammate Pavel Datsyuk last night waved off because, even though his skates weren't in the crease, his ass so fat they have to stop play for it.

Replays showed Holmstrom, who often uses his wide body to position himself in front the goalie to set a screen for a shot, didn't have his skates in the crease at the time of the goal. But referee Kelly Sutherland waved off the goal.

"The referees said his skates were outside the crease but his rear end was in the blue area," Red Wings captain Nicklas Lidstrom said. "That's a call I've never heard of."

NHL Rule 69, interference on the goalkeeper, never mentions the word "butt."

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Rule 69 doesn't mention the word "butt"? That's like Rule Blowjob not mentioning "your mom". Hey-O! No really, it confuses her greatly.

Nothing like a few butt cracks. That is, jokes about asses. Written on a notecard and placed in a stripper's asshole.