
Philadelphia Phillies fans, already prone to violent outburst likes the rest of their Philly brethren, were supplied with the perfect storm of motivation yesterday at a Reading Phillies game. The promotional giveaway: snow globes featuring the slumptastic slugger Ryan Howard in a Santa outfit.
The pelting reflex in Philly fans is already known to be triggered by Santa sightings. Coupled with their frustration with Howard, currently batting a robust .165, or about a hundred points under his weight, will probably lead to a higher glass shard content than usual in the Citizens Bank Park outfield. Current ratio: A billion glass parts per billion parts of outfield.
Of course, it's bound to go over at least somewhat better than the planned Kobe Bryant nine-volt battery night at a 76ers game next season.


If it happens during a day game, the city can have a doubleheader with a nighttime riot over the police beatings. Everyone wins!
+3.14159 for the "Whitey Whackers" tag. Mmmmmm…pi……
Er, if they were given the snow globes at a game in Reading yesterday, why would the shards wind up in a different park in a different city? Just sayin', is all…
oooooh…. someone knows his geography!
semantics, mvgiithe, semantics
That guy can't seriously be wearing a Mamula jersey, can he? Were they all sold out of Freddie Mitchell's?
Hall-of-Famer
Whitey FordMike Schmidt rolling in a 1997 Pontiac Astro Wagon and pleading with the crowd for….for some kind of sanity.This….this is a black day for baseball.
Philly fans should save the snow globes for when Santa Clause makes an appearance at an Eagles game.
I swear, this article bats for the cycle when it comes to cliches about Philly fans: Santa, batteries, broken glass… Throw in a mention of the Wm. Penn Curse and it’d be like hitting the trifecta in a wheelchair race — and, of course, booing the losers.
Because fans at the Spectrum did that. Hello, is this mic on?
They were more pissed off that Santa was a "Black Man" then because it was Ryan Howard.
Damn you haradaway, I wanted to make that joke.