Kenny Mayne has written a book, and he has the website to prove it.  An Incomplete & Inaccurate History of Sport (on sale today) is written in the same sardonic fashion that propelled Mayne to fame on SportsCenter, and will likely appeal to the Venn diagram of fans who enjoy both watching Mayne on TV and reading.

In what is either a savvy marketing move or an act of desperation, Mayne has lowered himself to be interviewed by the blogging proletariat, which explains why I got the opportunity to speak to him over the phone a week ago last Wednesday.  In part one of the interview, I asked Mayne about the book.  Part two below is more about, well, everything else.

The interview has been edited for clarity and brevity, so you won't read get to read our exchange about us both being born in Tacoma (Wash.) or the thirty-odd times I said, "Uhhh."  Read the more interesting stuff — from Progressive insurance and horse racing to Erin Andrews and Jessica Lange — after the jump.

With Leather: If you don't mind, I'll move on to my series of jackass questions designed to test your deadpan skills.

Kenny Mayne: Yeah.  On the ones where I can't answer because of politics I'll just give an evasive answer.

WL: That's fine.  I'm not nearly man enough to ask anything too point-blank.

KM: I don't know anything anyway, so if you quiz me on sports I'll probably fail miserably.

WL: All right, so is Progressive really going to save me more money?

KM: That's Progressive's problem now.  My deal with them has ended.  I'm back with Allstate.

WL: Best part of the Kentucky Derby: bourbon or not being in Bristol?

KM: Not being in Bristol [is good], but not because Bristol is so bad. It's just a great event. I know there are — I don't know if you're a horse fan at all — there are so many [media members] when it comes time to do radio [interviews], and you can just tell you might as well be talking about space aliens.  They just have no idea.  [They're] like, "Are the horses going to run in a circle?  And how old are they?"

WL: No, I was actually stationed at Fort Knox [outside Louisville] in the spring of 2001.  So [the Derby] was definitely on the list of things for me to do when I was there.

KM: Oh, wow. [to someone else]  I'm fine, thank you.  Oh, no thanks.  I just have– thank you very much.  [to me] You can parenthetically note that I turned down service there.  Even the mints.

WL: Noted.  So, okay, hypothetical question: pretend an interviewer says to you, "Tell us something interesting." Where do you most want to punch him?

KM: [long silence - he probably thinks I'm insane] I guess just sort of an arm-punch.  My friend Jimmy Sandusky used to tell a joke, and if you didn't laugh, he'd punch you in the arm.

WL: Close, but the correct answer was "the genitals."

KM: Well, close enough.

WL: For the sake of my Web traffic, can you say something about Erin Andrews?

KM: Erin Andrews is an intelligent woman.  And friendly.

WL: What if you were twenty years younger and single?  Would that statement change?

KM: Well… that would make me 28; I'd probably still be too old for her.  She could be my niece, so I wouldn't say anything forward about her. [Note: Andrews turns 30 next month]  I've only met her in person once.  She helped me shop for a raincoat-windbreaker-type thing in San Francisco at the All-Star game last year.  I had an assignment, we were expecting rain.  Turned out to be a waste of coat money, but she was very lovely to have on that trip.

WL: There are millions of sports fans who have fantasized about that specific experience. 

KM: I'm certain that there's all sorts of college kids who are just wishing they could go buy raincoats with her.

WL: [laughs] I'm going to let that double-entendre go. You were actually signed by the Seahawks as a free agent.  Where were you on their depth chart?

KM: It was sort of a mercy signing.  What happened was, Sam [King, who played ahead of him at UNLV] was offered a free agent deal with the Seahawks, and he turned it down to try for the CFL.  My coach called [the Seahawks] and said, "Hey, the guy who was second-string, it wasn't like he was miles behind the guy you already offered a deal to."  So I went up there and I threw for them and passed that exam.  I signed a really bad contract; there was no negotiation whatsoever, just "Here's the paper, sign it."  And when I failed the physical — I had a broken ankle real bad my junior year: fracture, dislocation… but yeah, did I think I was going to be some great NFL star?  I thought I was as good as the other rookies in camp, so maybe I would have lasted long enough to get looked at by somebody else, or go to Canada, or who knows?  But I did have aspirations to play football longer than I did.  Unfortunately, because of my ankle or maybe lack of talent, I moved on to TV, which is where I was going to go eventually anyway.

WL: Well, I'm sure Charlie Frye takes comfort in the fact that you once held his position.

KM: [laughs]

WL: I'd love to ask you more annoying questions, but my readers tune me out after a couple hundred words if I don't post a picture of an attractive woman, so…

KM: [laughs] For me, put in Jessica Lange. 

WL: Jessica Lange?  All right.  She was a looker in her prime, and she still isn't too bad these days.

KM: You know what?  I'm loyal.  I don't care how old she is.