If MasterCard, Sprint, and Gatorade commercials have taught me anything, it's that Peyton Manning is a nice, charming guy who just wants us to be hydrated while paying for great telecommunications services with a versatile, widely accepted credit card. But this Manning commercial is kinda weird. I'm not even sure what he's selling. He's just yelling and swearing a lot. Does he want me to join the Marines? Because I tried that already. Don't let Peyton sell you on that sweet dress uniform, man. You'll wear Kevlar and a flak jacket a hell of a lot more than you will those dress blues. And as much as the Corps is trying to embrace new technology, they're still not issuing laser rocket arms.