Some NFL comings and goings to get you by until the draft this Saturday…
SEAHAWKS CUT SHAUN ALEXANDER — As a 'Hawks fan, it's kind of a sad day. He's the team's all-time leading rusher and scorer, and he's dedicated to keeping ties to the Seattle area after he retires. He's an all-time great for sports in the Pacific Northwest… is how we'll remember him after he retires. Because he has truly sucked ass for the last two years, and watching him miss blocks, drop passes, and fall down behind the line of scrimmage got real old real fucking fast.
VIKINGS ACQUIRE ALLEN FROM CHIEFS – Jared Allen, Shaun Alexander — what's with all the first names? KC gets three draft picks, and Minnesota's nasty defense gets nastier.
DOLPHINS SIGN JAKE LONG — The 6'7", 315-lb. Michigan standout is now the highest-paid offensive lineman in the NFL, and he hasn't even been drafted yet. In a related story, I've paid my rent on time three out of four months this year. Winner: me. Wait, no. Long. Definitely Long.
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$30 million?
But does that come with a transit check, dental plan, and bagel buffet every Friday?
Sucker.
That might be one of my favorite photoshops ever.
Well it doesn't matter where on the line Jake Long plays, he is going to protect a sucktastic QB. The Dolphins are bad.
If the Vikings actually had QB, they would be my pick for the NFC this year.
If Bill Buckner were alive, he'd be turning over in his grave.
Jared Allen's mullet will fit in nicely in Minnesota where it's 1985 everyday.
@Enrico, everything about Jared Allen will fit in nicely in Minny because he is extremely white.
So he gets $30,000,000 to be fat and stand in front of people? Nice!
I will trade you Jeremy Shockey for Shawn Alexander, and a coupon book for SCORES that has a few lap dances, and a visist to the Champagne Room. Wait, also all security cameras turned off for 15 min. Deal????
Every superhero's alter-ego has two first names. Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent, Barry Allen…
Dear God, that's the dorkiest comment ever written here, isn't it? Just bury me with that hooker over there.
So I'm thinking six years from now Long Pt. II will be a Raider.
Don't deny it. It's inevitable. The old man will make it happen if he has to sell the farm.
@mutumbo….
as long as these fuckers dont get paid based on performance and or incentives…these people will continue to get 30+ million for just standing there…..look at barry zito….you couldnt rob a bank and walk off with the 120+ million hes gunna get….10teamparlay.com
i meant @ jim jones….my bad
Speaking of selling the farm, I must say that there are few joys in life better than selling yourself short and taking a vacation day to sit in center field at Wrigley on a tuesday afternoon sipping sweet, sweet Pacifico with the sun on your face despite thunderstorm forcasts. Wait. What about a farm? That just sounds like something I did yesterday totally unrelated to everything in this post. Yet somehow it seems to fit. I verbally assaulted a drunk pup wearing a Daniel LaRusso bandana.
I wonder if the Dolphins will take their full three hours of TV time to dramatically call his name at the last minute. (insert sex joke here)
I'm pretty sure that Shaun Alexander got tackled by the guy in the straw hat for a 2-yard loss.
this is really just a pointless comment… i'm not really saying anything worthwhile (when do i ever), but the money is at the end, comin up……………………… stopputtingyourfuckingwebsiteattheendofyourcomments.com
i'm just sayin…
Minnesota's nasty defense gets nastier
Double-ended dildo, nastier?
Jim Jones… that would be an offensive linemen. Turn in your cleats son. You're off to rhythmic gymnastics…..
Umm… LordZnot? You may wanna catch a ride to that yourself… Long is an O lineman.
Does anybody else remember that great game that Shaun Alexander had? Don't worry, nobody else does, either. Although, he is a great hero for a team whose claim to fame is losing a Super Bowl.
Jared Allen is only 26 and he is going to be a monster for years to come. The Chiefs will end up blowing those picks. Instead of the Cowboys pulling the Herschel Walker trade, think the Rams and the Eric Dickerson fiasco.
Adam: No, their claim to fame is having fans who make damn sure you never forget how they were cheated out of that Super Bowl, maaaan! Fucking refs!
awwww am i getting to people….its funny i have a reason to actually read these things and want to post comments….dont hate me cuz you hate your life….you and your girl shan can report me if you want….would you rather me tell you to go to meatspin.com or are you already a posting member there??
im just sayin…