I have to applaud the tenacity of Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry.  Apparently unfazed by last year's eight-game suspension (or the two-game suspension the year before that), the embattled wideout once kicked off the West Virginia team is now wanted on assault charges.

Gregory Meyer, 18, claims Henry threw a bottle, shattering his car window and punched him in the face outside his apartment complex. Meyer [said] he was walking out of his apartment with his girlfriend, when the bottle was thrown at his car. Meyer says he was attacked when confronting the suspect about that. Meyer needed a staple to close a gash on the top of his head.

Oh, man.  That's terrible.  He really should have gone to a hospital where they could have given him stitches.  Kids these days think they can fix anything with office equipment. 

To be fair, despite Henry's epic history of run-ins with the police, there have also been at least two reports where charges where unfounded.  And for what it's worth, Henry has reportedly claimed that this is a case of mistaken identity, but if my experience with child-support payments is any indicator, good luck with that, buddy.  The police saw right through my disguise.  In retrospect, a name tag that read "Not Matt" was probably too subtle.