At Wrestlemania XXIV last night, that boxer jackass beat the big fucker and some old guy retired, but the real story is the pyrotechnic malfunction that left dozens in the stands injured.  A suspended cable used for launching fireworks above the crowd snapped, showering the crowd of easily amused simpletons with sparks and rockets.

"The smoke was coming out and it looked like a war zone," crowd member Bryan Bindman said.

"Scene Looks Like War Zone, Says Man Who's Never Been to War Zone"

"We were right under the rafters near the suites and it came right across our section — maybe 20 feet ahead of us," fan Bill Kallus said. "We were thinking, 'Is this part of the show or is this an accident?'"

I take back everything bad I've ever said about WWE.  The Citrus Bowl could have been partially blown up by terrorists or fallen apart after an 8.0 earthquake, and the fans would be like, "Hold on, this is probably just part of the show."

[Special thanks to KSK]