Manchester United midfielder Darren Fletcher was left bloody and unconscious when the door of a bathroom stall fell and hit him in the head after a game last week.

[A club insider said,] "I saw blood pouring out and the medical staff had to treat him there and then. I know he got stitches. He looked pretty dazed and pretty shocked. You don't expect a door to just fall on you."

Oh you don't, do you?  That kind of lazy lack of awareness explains Britain's substantial decline in military might.  Have I ever expected a bathroom door to fall on my head?  Every time I drop anchor, friends.  Some say I'm paranoid; I say the U.S. Marine Corps prepares you for anything life can throw at you.  And guess what?  I've never been hit in the head by a shoddily-made (probably British, pfft) bathroom door.  U-S-A! U-S-A!

[The Offside via FanIQ]