Silly girl, you can\'t read while blindfolded.

Paul Jewell, the manager of the English Premier League's Derby County, is in a bit of hot water:

The Derby County manager filmed himself in an hour-long bondage romp with a blonde. Details of the lurid spanking and sex film surfaced yesterday. A pal said: “He’ll be a laughing stock at the club when he gets back. “Everyone is pointing out he seems to have scored more regularly in that video than Derby have all season.

Oh SNAP! I'll be honest – I've never heard of Paul Jewell, and I didn't know that Derby had a soccer team, but bondage romps are fun to . . . er, research.

During the film, dad-of-two Jewell – wed for 21 years – ties a mystery woman in stockings to a bed with silk before they have sex. In another clip the Rams chief and his lover – who is in her 30s and wearing a wedding ring – romp on the boot of his Mercedes.

Romp on the boot?!? Oooh, that does sound sexy, and finally a succinct way to describe those stiletto marks on my ass. -KD 

{Unprofessional Foul}