
I'm cool with pro athletes making more over the course of a game than I will all year. I expect them to wear more expensive clothes than I do and have sex with famous women and get out of brushes with the law simply because of who they are. What I'm NOT cool with is America's Puritanical anti-murder laws when I read stories like this:
Fresh from a birthday bash in Miami, [Eva Longoria] arrived at the San Antonio airport Sunday – completely unaware of the intricate celebration hubby Tony Parker had planned in their hometown. The party, elaborate even by Hollywood standards, involved surprise visits from friends and family, an Amazing Race-style scavenger hunt, a lavish dinner at a castle and a real-life version of the Clue board game…
The unsuspecting star – who had already enjoyed three previous birthday bashes – was greeted at the airport by the familiar Clue characters (played by hired actors who were flown in from Los Angeles). But the San Antonio Spurs star was noticeably absent. Colonel Mustard, Professor Plum, all of them were there," says the guest. "But there's no Tony. Although there was a Spurs coyote – the Spurs mascot – in the crowd." [...]
The birthday girl had to watch a video and answer questions from the still-MIA Parker. Says the guest: "It was stuff like, what was the first place we had our date? IHOP. What was the movie we saw together? National Treasure. What's my favorite color? Red. She got them all right."
That set the stage for the biggest surprise of the night. "In walks the Spurs coyote again," says the partygoer. "But it's Tony in the coyote costume! He's been in the coyote costume the whole day …. He was hot, he was sweating, he was in love with his wife."
If you cheer for the Spurs I hate you.


First date at IHOP ae? Lil morning after breakfast there kids? SLUT.
Perhaps the first clue should have been the Spurs mascot blowing Manu Ginobli.
She belongs bound, gagged and in my trunk.
"First Bush and Kardashian, now Romo and Simpson? I swear if the next post is about Tony Parker and Eva Longoria I'm leaving." -my comment from the Romo-Simpson post.
Why do you hate me Matt? I know it wasn't the next post, but still in the same day.
IHOP and 'National Treasure', huh?
If I didn't hate you before, Frenchie, I hate you now.
Yes, I did it, I killed [Eva]. I hated her, so much… That… it… it… flam – flames. Flames, on the side of my face, heaving… breath – , heaving breaths. Heaving breath…
@UU: The tipster who sent that in cited your comment as the reason for forwarding the story. Congratulations.
I'm sure they fit right in with the church crowd that fills every single IHOP 24/7. Seriously, it takes forever to get a table at IHOP, and then you have to get judged as you walk through the room smelling of booze and sex. Just fucking try it on a Sunday too…
@Matt, I blame my-self. I apologize if I'm responsible for this and for causing everyone's urge to kill to rise after reading this story.
Smello must be the tipster, only chicks read People.com
Shan: You sure you went to an IHOP? Cause that sounds an awful lot like every church I've passed out in.
I came to revoke Parker's man card, but then i remembered that he's French, and has no man card or penis to take away.
Go Spurs!
"He was hot, he was sweating, he was in love with his wife."
Chris Benoit???…hopefully these two are in line for the same fate
She turned 33. I don't understand the big deal even if the two are famous and rich. They must be terribly bored in addition to being boring.
Both Tony and Eva were disappointed when they figured out that I.H.O.P. did not stand for International House of Peterpuffing.
Especially Tony.
Smello, I got that 'Clue' reference.
Yvette was the source of one of my first erections.
Hating the Spurs and making fun of Eva Longoria? What fresh and interesting opinions. You are indeed as cutting edge as you are clever.
Riding a unicycle with no pants. Yep, that’s Tony.
wow… rojo13. a lil browse through your post history is just incredible. I feel bad for a man that has obviously invested so much of his own being into a blog only to find that it doesn't meet his high standards after a year or so.
you could always start your own blog up and, you know, fuck off and die.
Hey rojo13, choke on Bowen's dong. How's that for a witty retort?
P.S. -1 billion for using "cutting edge" as an adjective. Dick.
Also–you don't need to put that much effort into a birthday party if you can bring your wife to orgasm.
Riding a unicycle with no pants. Yep, that's Tony.
Tim, I don't know about that. He usually doesn't have a seat on his unicycle.
@rojo13
Relative to the rest of the NBA, which is to say relative to guys who are half a notch above Charles Manson, the Spurs seem like good guys. It's the ostentatiousness I can't stand.
IHOP and National Treasure? and I thought the dates I went out with my (now ex) boyfriend for pizza and "Battle Royale" were lame…somehow I don't feel so bad now.
"That set the stage for the biggest surprise of the night…He's been in the coyote costume the whole day."
More surprising than Parker convincing the crowd he loves Eva despite being flamingly gay? I say no.
Can it Merk. Nobody likes a brown-noser.
Pair of idiot douchebags.