Some of you might consider it blasphemous that I would wait a whole day to mention this, while others might seem put off that I'm actually linking to Kissing Suzy Kolber, the forwarding address for the bulk of my screed, bile, and baking recipes. This is exactly why I make a deliberate effort never to please anyone. Nothing tastes sweeter to me than the tears of the crybaby-troll voices in the blogosphere. Fuck you all.
“It’s a private matter,” replied marketing man Gene Kolber when we asked about the paternity of his newborn granddaughter. His daughter, ESPN “Monday Night Football” reporter Suzy Kolber gave birth to a baby girl, Kellyn, in Connecticut yesterday. The Dresher-raised Upper Dublin High graduate “decided to become a single mother,” Gene said, before politely declining to further discuss his 44-year-old daughter's pregnancy, which was kept well hidden during her sideline reporting and her ESPN/ABC NASCAR coverage. Baby Kellyn weighed in at 6 ½ pounds, and was 19 inches long.
It's a private matter, meaning "We have no fucking clue where that seed came from, except that he was a Harvard grad and very athletic." – Monday Morning Punter
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A baby named Kellyn and a mystery father? Perhaps Suzy's been reporting from the Cleveland area lately.
Definite 'no.'
wow…who would have thought that Namath still had swimmers at his age?
I'll put money on Chris Berman's block in this paternity test pool
When asked to comment, the turkey baster said, "Oh yeah, I hit that shit."
Single mom, not a problem when you can a pay a nanny to raise the kid. Maybe David Crosby is the dad ? worked for that dyke Melissa Ethridge.
Who do I get the feeling that Uff has something to do with this? Caribbean vacation is a nice diversion but I don't buy it.
Wait! I pulled out damnit!!
That "baby" in the picture looks an awful lot like Cris Collinsworth. Hmm.
Or Martin Short. He has not exactly been busy lately, unless their working on another Jiminy Glick masterpiece of a movie.
Seems like the Punter is having a rough stay at WithLeather
Quagmire Kolber? Nope, doesn't sound good at all.
Giggity!
Used condom found in parking lot behind Burger King + turkey baster = Baby
"I dunno you'd have to be pretty desparate to make it with a robot"
/Homer/
"I waannna inseminate you. Can I inseminate you?"
"Back to you, guys!"
It's a private matter, meaning "We have no fucking clue where that seed came from, except that he was a Harvard grad and very athletic."
Ted Kaczinski?
Looks like somebody was doing more than kissing Suzy Kolber…Heyoh!!
I think it was those shifty aliens.
My, you're looking lovely this evening. Have you decreased in mass?
…except that he was a Harvard grad and very athletic.
Congratulations to Matt Birk and his new bastard.
Stick to writing boy. That kid looks like he's a product of Ohio.
Peach Kobler if it was a girl.
Tom Brady strikes again ! That mother fucker !
turkey baster. Suzy plays for the other team. And she is the shortstop.
"Kept well hidden during NASCAR coverage".
Please. No one watching NASCAR even knows how babies are made. They just know that when another one shows up in the double-wide its time to apply for more WIC vouchers and their wimmens look a bit sexier in their sun dress.
That picture will haunt my dreams forever