KENYATTA JONES JUST HAD TO GO
03.31.08
Former Patriots and Redskins lineman Kenyatta Jones (Kenya + regatta + parental drug use = Kenyatta) was arrested this weekend when he tried to urinate on the dance floor of a night club. TMZ writes:
[Jones], who has now been relegated to the Arena Football League, was busted after cops say he tried to urinate on the dance floor at some place called The Blue Martini in Tampa, Fla. Toot toot! [Ed. note: "Toot toot"? WTF does that mean?]
As security and off-duty cops tried to escort Jones out of the club, he tried to get back inside and shoved an officer up against a door. That's when they tazed him and hauled him off to the pokey!
I'm not a policeman or anything — I just play one in adult films — but I'd think that if a guy really wants to pee in public, tazing him probably isn't the best way to prevent that outcome.
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I want to make that dude that runs TMZ swallow a lit M-80.
I just play one in adult films
May I suggest using your nightstick officer?
when he tried to urinate on the dance floor
did he try turning on the faucet?
@WWSM–the phone in his limo was busted, so he couldn't call his bitches.
@HHY–for real. Who says "pokey"?
@hohos – it's cool though. He just used the quart of blood technique.
[Ed. note: "Toot toot"? WTF does that mean?]
Perhaps the writer was jamming to some Quad City DJ's???
I goto Blue Martini in Palm Bch & Lauderdale Bch all the time, I can personally verify that this man is not the only famous person peeing out on the dance floor, NFL TE Jeremy Shockey just has no class out there !!! he did it super bowl weekend 07
Don't taze pee, bro!
/had to be said
Actually, Kenyatta = surname of founder of Kenya, its first prime minister and president.
However, legislation providing for legalized public urination is not among his notable achievements.
worst part is, the last time I was at the Blue Martini in Tampa it was a total Cougar Bar. This just in bro, peeing on the floor is how you pick up equally drunk co-eds, not 38 year old divocees with niiiiice alimony coming in.
Cock Flashy, I think you're giving his parents too much credit. His middle name is Lapoleon.
@ Taco: Uhhhh….really? Ok, well, um, yeah Lapoleon isn't the name of any pan-African nationalist as far as I can tell. So, previous serious comment above withdrawn. Good detective work there Taco.
Lapoleon? did his parents….nah….forget it. too easy.
Any Pro-Drunk knows that the key to peeing in a bar is being belly up to the bar, then pulling your dick out and peeing. Perferably whilst ordering a drink from the bartender as not to attract attention.
Yes, I have pee'd in a bar. Why do you ask?
Leave him alone, he was just trying to do the sprinkler dance.
[www.youtube.com]
did he try turning on the faucet?
Doing math problems in your head works every time.
@Tim–I prefer to picture somebody I hate enough to piss on. I'm not saying Bruce Bowen, but I'm not NOT saying Bruce Bowen.
He -tried- to pee on the floor?
How embarrassing. Get it done, man.
I'm just a bit curious….The Magazine HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP reported his profiles were found on the famous rich women seeking affairs site myinterracialmatch. c o m last week and he was seeking his sugar Mum there now!!!!!