Athletes with gigantic personalities should have public catfights way more often. When Bill Walton basically called Shaquille O'Neal a goldbricker for riding the bench in Miami ("I've seen a lot of spinals, dude"), I didn't think it could get any better than Walton saying, "Shaq's arrogance is an insult to people who think."
But, as we may or may not learn when Shaq takes the court with the Suns, it's best not to count the Big Aristotle out of any contest. His retort isn't necessarily spirited or even rational, but I certainly enjoy his citation of Big Man Pecking Order Code Ordinance 2257. Not to be confused with Ordinance 2258, which rules that Ralph Sampson may not sleep with a woman until Wilt Chamberlain has turned her down or had sex with her.
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Keep your ugly fucking goldbricking ass out of my beach community.
Can we call the show 2257 and bring back Jackee?
I vote that the big man ordinance codes replace the psalms in the bible. And also our constitution's amendments.
And while I think Shaq is a lazy sack of shit who has managed to use shallow charisma to deflect attention from what an unbelievable underachiever he actually is (not including 2000-2002, when he played like a PCP fueled mad man), to be fair, Bill Walton doesn't have the right to say shit about anything other than Grateful Dead bootlegs and speech impediments.
"I t-t-t-t-t-t-hink S-s-s-s-s-sublime's cover of "Sc-c-c-c-c-c-c-arlet begonias is d-d-d-d-d-d-isgraceful!"
Ordnance 2267: Any big man who made an NBA All-Star Team can violate Dwayne Schintzius at his leisure.
If we're going by the Big Man Pecking Order Code, then I think we should consider that Bill Walton's last movie apperance was the monster in 300.
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Shaq's was Scary Movie 4. Advantage: Walton.
Dikembe thanks you, Matt, for finally answering his question.
Christ. Do I have to do everything around here?
Ordnance = weapon/ammunition/etc.
Ordinance = law
I require net 30 days payment on all invoices.
Feverishly working on the Marketing Plan for the Bradley-Schintzius sex tape…"Stiffs Inside Stiffs"?
Samoan: Matt was spelling finettickly.
Big Aristotle vs. Big Doobie.
WhyDoYouAsk: Good point. Thanks for the clarificayshun.
Dikembe thanks you, Matt, for finally answering his question.
Actually, I like my lovers the way I like my horses: female, on all fours, and dead.
Huh?
Well done, samoan. I am sufficiently shamed.
I’m just happy Marty Conlon can keep making fun of Frederic Weis
Matt: No shame in misspelling. But there is shame in masturbation. Remember, that kinky motherfucker God is watching you.
Ordinance 2160: All white Bucks centers from this day forward must wear their hair in a sweet perm style, a la Paul Mokeski.
Cheers to Shaq for slamming BW without raising his own heart rate. Jeers to Shaq for calling out Ostertag in the process.
HHY, Jack Sikma knows #2160 quite well.
"No big man under should talk about a big man over." That's why Shintzius keeps his mouth shut about the humiliations.
Watching that video makes my puzzler hurt
we need Bill Laimbeer to weigh in on the conflict, with his elbows
Won't someone please think of Greg Kite!!!
Did anyone else notice that the real 2257 ordinance is the one that mandates record keeping of performers in pronographic material? Sounds like Shaq has the porn deeply embedded in his psyche. Good for Shaq. I always knew he was one of us.