SEAN SALISBURY GOT FIRED
02.27.08
ESPN hired Cris Carter to join its team of talking meatheads/NFL "analysts," and the man who got pushed out is none other than penis-photographing, John Clayton-abusing former inept quarterback Sean Salisbury. Awful Announcing has our requisite quote:
Salisbury: “I want to thank ESPN for 12 great years of talking football on TV and the radio. I have grown as much as I can at ESPN and decided to expand my horizons. I have created a brand and it’s time to expand into other opportunities in TV, radio, Internet, publishing, movies and public speaking, among others.
So there you have it. Pretty amicable, right? Except then he talked to the LA Times.
"I've been liberated. I knew this was coming, but I couldn't be happier. I'd grown tired of being punished for not being an NFL superstar. Analysts who don't work as hard as me, don't prepare as hard as me, and don't have my resume were making more than me just because of their ability to throw or catch a football."
Well, shit. I was gonna make fun of him, but now I kinda feel like he's a human being with a legitimate beef. And he photographed that legitimate beef with his cell phone. Oh SNAP! I totally went there, sister!

I'm astounded to find out he actually prepared his material. I was willing to excuse it a little when I thought he didn't even watch football.
This is a complex issue, because on the one hand, he sucked at his job, while on the other hand, I hated every moment he was on-air.
If there was a third hand, I'd add that he has a fair point about that superstar stuff.
He does have a fair point about that superstar stuff. He can be an insufferable ass, but at least he can put together a coherent sentence, unlike Shannon Sharpe, Jerome Bettis, Emmitt Smith, and Michael Irvin.
Sean reminded me of that guy you went to school with, that was the macho homo in denial. I bet he beat up John during the day, but blew him at night asking for forgiveness.
Plainly put, Salisbury is the same guy as those douchebag cops that bust Wooderson and the guys on the football field in Dazed and Confused… Just like that, except with a penis for a head instead of a donkey's ass.
@Swany
Salisbury's mad that John Clayton made all district and he didn't?
Umm, 289, you are awesome. Sean Salisbury is a bag of dicks.
@ WWSM
Naw, he's mad that Clayton got all the girls……. Whew!
I bet Clayton has a little swagger today. You know, now that he doesn't have to wear that leather suit and sleep in that box.
@ swany
He's mad because Clayton got all the white girls.
I thought all NFL analysts sucked. I had no idea there were degrees of suck.
@ChrisP
I refuse to believe that Emmit Smith is as bad at speaking as everybody sa-
Oh, nevermind.
I'll take Salisbury over Chris Carter any day of the week.
/twice on sunday'd
@Burnsy
+1 Love Pulp Fiction!
Movies?
Please god no!
I just liked him. And no, it isn't becasue he is not black but…..wait…..he wasn't black right? He was white? Oh, yeah ok……I really liked him.
I have created a brand and it’s time to expand into other opportunities….
Yes, because when one thinks of douchebaggy flip-floppers, one thinks of the Salisbury brand.
He'll be the next face for the new line of Crocs to come out this spring.
I thought Salisbury's whole schtick with Clayton was that Clayton hadn't played the game and therefore couldn't talk about it. But those who played it better and longer than Sean — i.e. everyone else — can't lord that over him?
Moron.
That comment from ChrisP made me wonder if there are ANY black football analysts that can put together a coherent sentence.
I'll give 3/1 odds that Fox picks him up (they pick up every espin cast off) and 5/1 odds that he appears in an fifteen man inter-racial gang bang porn movie titled "14 Tools and a Tic-Tac".
"I'd grown tired of being punished for not being an NFL superstar"
Todd Marinovich feels your pain, Sean. As do a thousand other titans of NFL mediocrity…except they didn't manage to parlay eight years of suck into a well-paying gig yelling at dorky wonks. Oh, you didn't make as much as Michael Irvin? Boo-fucking-hoo….I'd rather listen to Michael Irvin read his week's shopping list from 1992 (crack, pipes, vibrators, etc) than listen to you bloviate about a quarterback's "intangibles" for the 100th time.
@TedWilliamsFrozenHead: sigh…..Tom Jackson, Tiki Barber, Solomon Wilcots, James Brown, Ron Pitts, Eddie George (Titans analyst), Reggie Rivers (Broncos analyst), Nat Moore (Dolphins analyst), Mike Quick (Eagles analyst), D'Marco Farr (Rams analyst), Warren Moon (Seahawks analyst)
and let's not pretend there aren't a plethora of WHITE announcers/analysts who sound like they took a rake to the mouth. Dan Marino comes to mind.