So, here's a story that's not very interesting but is still making the rounds because a lot of sports fans hate the Patriots and also hate gays, or they are gay and like the Patriots, or they aren't necessarily homophobic but still call things like the Patriots "gay." 

Anyway, a photo of Bill Belichick was placed on the cover of Boston Spirit magazine, and it was somehow relevant because the mag had a discussion about the possibility of an athlete coming out of the closet.  I'll let MJD explain:

In fact, the article inside, about whether or not the city of Boston is ready to accept a gay athlete, has little to do with Belichick at all. They put Belichick on the cover, because, according to publisher David Zimmerman, "He is currently the most recognizable coach in the New England area."

Right, got it.  Out: rainbows, pink triangles.  In: recognizable coaches.  And if a recognizable coach comes out, then coaches are even more in!  I think.  I'm not really in step with gay culture.  Although Jersey Boys?  Simply FABULOUS!

I like Will Ferrell.  I'm sure if I saw Semi-Pro I'd laugh a couple times even if he's just doing the same thing he's done in all his other sports movies.  But this non-stop viral cross-marketing has got to stop.  There's the SI swimsuit thing with Heidi Klum, the ESPN Bill Walton interview with Ferrell dressed as Moon (but speaking as Ferrell), and now this:

In an all-out effort to snap a losing streak to the Harlem Globetrotters that is more than 37 years long, Washington Generals Owner Red Klotz has offered a one game contract to flamboyant player/coach Jackie Moon of the Flint Tropics.

The 6-5, 215 lb. Moon, widely known for his signature teardrop move, has been tendered a one-game offer of $100,000 to play for the Generals when they take on the Globetrotters on Sunday, March 9, at the Wachovia Center, in Klotz’s home city of Philadelphia.

I get it, okay?  The movie comes out tomorrow.  But don't write press releases/news stories that treat a famous actor's character as a real person.  If you want to operate under the conceit that Jackie Moon is a real person and an ABA pioneer, guess what?  He's now in his late 50s and he's not going to help your stupid sideshow basketball team.  Just say, "Will Ferrell's gonna play for the Generals as Jackie Moon."  I don't want my press releases to exchange knowing winks with me.  That's reserved for the guys at the truck stop off Exit 37.

If anyone wants to tell me why Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is dancing with Steve Urkel at Six Flags, I'm all fuckin' ears, man.

But hey, at least Jaleel White is looking well.  I'd heard he'd fallen into a nasty cycle of drug addiction and sucking cock for drugs.  Drugs, cock, drugs, cock, a horrific shame spiral that can only end in the merciful release of death. So it's good to see him work– I'm sorry, what's that?  That's an Urkel impersonator?  … Oh. 

Someone should probably check on Jaleel.

[Shutdown Corner]

Granted, when you put the words "trampoline" and "dunk" together, nothing will ever touch the sheer majesty of this video.  However, there's still plenty of room for excellence in the trampoline-dunk accident oeuvre, and going legs-first into a backboard 11 feet above the ground is a worthwhile addition to this canon of hilarity. 

Could've used a slo-mo take, though.  Whether it's a horrific injury or bouncing breasts, slo-mo makes everything better.

[Sports in Your Face via Yardbarker] 

Aussie Rules football doesn't JUST have a widespread drug problem, you know.  A lot of the players also have problems with alcohol and disrespecting women.  But the AFL is taking steps to correct those problems… through the greatest teaching instrument there is: the DVD.

An interactive DVD which asks players if they would sleep with their mate's girlfriend is the Australian Football League's (AFL) latest effort to improve player attitudes to women.

The AFL confirmed it is producing the DVD which guides players on how to deal with various scenarios and boost their respect for the opposite sex.

This one isn't gonna be easy.  Australian culture has complex ideas about gender roles and how to act appropriately in mixed company.  For starters, too many Australian men drink and hit their girlfriends, which is terrible.  Australian social mores dictate that men should only hit their girlfriends when they're sober; it's the responsible way to approach an even-keeled relationship.  This is markedly different from American culture, where high-profile, wealthy athletes are renowned for being chivalrous and respectful to women.

(Thanks to sex kitten Kristine for the tip) 

I don't know what I can say down here that isn't already said in the headline.  Apparently Duke's mascot — THE Blue Devil himself — got some fan help in order to execute his most eXXXtreme stunt yet: stand on a surfboard while Duke students laid on the floor and pushed the Devil-surfer along at a vertigo-inducing height of 12 inches. 

Annnnnnnd then he sprained his knee.  I promise you, you haven't experienced joy until you've watched someone writhe around in agony while the giant head they're wearing is frozen in a mischievous grin.

[Awful Announcing]